Define: 'Courage'
by Brunette Beauty 1
Summary: Blaine's story: his life before, during, and after Dalton and Kurt. Rated T for Safety. *It's better than it sounds. Don't let the summary fool you.*
1. I Ran, Kurt

**Define 'Courage'****: Blaine's life before, during, and after Dalton and Kurt.**

**This is written in Blaine's point of view. Glee belongs to Ryan Murphy, Ian Brennan, and Brad Falchuk.**

***Warning* There is violence and intolerance in this chapter! Rated T for safety. **

** . . . . . . . . . . . .**

**I Ran, Kurt **

"How many of you would agreed with the statement that all men are created equal?" my English teacher Mrs. Simmons asked after five minutes of allowing the students to answer the questionnaire. Only a few people raised their hands; I was one of them. "Wow," Mrs. Simmons said in surprise. "There aren't that many. Raise your hand if you don't agree."

The majority of the class raised their hands, including Kenneth Grant. He was a tall boy with toned muscles, tan skin, and dark hair. He was attractive, but too much of a jerk for me. Most of the girls had crushes on him. "Would anyone like to share their response?"

"I would," Kenneth said loudly, and Mrs. Simmons smiled and nodded at him. Kenneth stood up and faced the class, looking down at his paper. "I responded saying that I do not agree that all men are created equal. For one thing, there are some men that are athletic and others that are nerdy and wimpy. It's easy to figure out who's superior there. And also, there are men that like women, and then there are men that like other men. Men that are interested in women are obviously far superior to men that like other guys." He smirked arrogantly.

"Thank you, Kenneth," Mrs. Simmons said, clapping her hands. A bunch of the other kids clapped their hands with approval. I couldn't believe how taken in they were with the horrible response he had written. My face turned red and my hands went numb the moment he mentioned "men that like other men." It was almost as if the insult was directed right at me.

When class was dismissed, a girl named Joyce said hello sweetly to me and hurried away. If I was interested in girls, I may have considered asking her out. She had a crush on me, and she was a very nice girl. But I liked boys. Joyce didn't do it for me in that way. I didn't mind being her friend, but I was never going to be her boyfriend. Of course, she didn't know I was gay. No one did. When everyone found out, they would treat me the way Kenneth Grant thought I should be treated. Like a filthy animal. I was filthy because I was attracted to guys.

Tyler Smith was one of my best friends. He was gay, and had bleached blond hair that fell in front of his eyes. I didn't have a crush on him, but I found him attractive. He was rather shy about his sexuality; he didn't talk about guys or dress flamboyantly. He was out and proud, but he didn't flaunt. I hoped that I could be that way after I came out - proud, but subtle. I sat down beside him at lunch, and three boys walked by. Kenneth, Reggie Williams, and Jay Schumacher. Reggie was gangly and practically albino with white hair and silver eyes. He also spoke with a lisp, but he was still one of the most popular boys I knew. He dated almost every girl (all the 'cool' ones anyway), won several superlatives, and was friends with almost everyone (every one who was anyone). Jay was another strange one. He had the oddest face I ever saw, but he walked around thinking he looked like Johnny Depp. As if. The girls seemed to think he looked like Johnny Depp too. I was attracted to boys, yet I didn't see what these girls saw.

The three of them glared at Tyler, just because he was gay. I was uneasy because I wanted to come out soon, and they would be glaring at me soon, most likely. Jay said, "If he wants to eat, he should go do it at a gay bar." The two others sneered, and they were past.

"They're such jerks," I said to Tyler.

"I know, right," he agreed. "The worst thing is when they snap at you for 'checking them out.' Like I would ever be caught dead checking one of them out."

"Sucks, doesn't it?" I chuckled.

"They seem to think that because I like guys, I like all guys," Tyler laughed.

"Ignorant," I muttered.

"Wow, you seem awfully bitter, Blaine," Tyler noticed. "Why are they getting to you?"

"I'm gay, Tyler," I said. I almost couldn't believe the words had escaped from my mouth.

His jaw fell. "Y-you're kidding," he said in shock.

"I'm serious as a heart attack," I argued, shaking my head. "You never suspected it?"

"Well, you were cool hanging out with me," Tyler pointed out. "Most boys would never do that, but I thought you were just pretty liberal." I considered asking him out at that moment. What? He was a cute older guy. I was a freshman, and he was a junior. "Have you told your parents yet? Do they know?"

"No," I sighed.

"Would they kick you out if you told them?" Tyler asked.

"I don't know." It would break my dad's heart if I told him. He was so convinced that he'd raised the perfect son, a boy just like him. I didn't have the courage to tell him just yet.

"My dad died five years ago," Tyler explained. "I told my mom I was gay three years ago, and she was pretty cool with it. I don't know how my dad would have taken it."

"My parents think they know me so well," I said, propping my elbow up on the table. "If I tell them I'm gay, it'll just come up as a big shock."

Tyler squeezed my shoulder shyly and said, "Good luck." He wanted me to tell them.

"Thanks, man," I replied, and I gazed into his eyes. I almost asked him out just then.

When I got home that day, I paced my room for hours and hours. I wrote speeches for how I would come out to my parents; what I would say to them. Nothing sounded right. I tugged at my Polo shirt and fidgeted with my preppy pants. I eyed the Ralph Lauren collection inside my wardrobe, and suddenly wondered if all the fashionable clothing my wealthy parents bought for me during my life had turned me gay. It didn't matter that I'd played several sports and Little League games growing up. Maybe the adorable clothes turned me gay. No, that was ridiculous. People are born gay. I'm not sinning. I was born this way. This was how I was born.

"Blaine, dear. Come down to the dining room. It's time for dinner," my mother Samantha called. "I made fedicini alfredo." Mom had recently become fascinated with Italian food. My dad's mother was Italian, and she'd taught my mom all there was to know about cooking pasta, spaghetti, penne, and fedicini alfredo. My mom was absolutely obsessed now.

I hurried down the stairs to the dining room where my conservative father Richard sat, his nose inside the newspaper. "Hello son, how was your day?" he asked cheerfully.

"G-great," I stuttered nervously. "Just fine. Thank you. How was yours?"

"Splendid," he replied, "except when I had to deal with all my lazy employees at work."

Mom laughed at what he said and handed me my bowl of pasta. "Here you go, honey."

"Thanks, Mom," I said smiling weakly, and I sat and listened to my parents talk about work and current events. I almost considered not coming out to them tonight, but I finally decided to get their attention and get this over with once and for all. "Mom, Dad, may I please borrow a moment of your time?" I asked with an anxious exhale.

"Sure kid, what's up?" Dad asked. Both my parents gave me bright smiles. They wouldn't be smiling in just a few moments. I took another deep breath and closed my eyes, wishing desperately that I could disappear.

"They say that when you're a teenager you make discoveries about yourself," I eased into it. "Those are the years when you start to figure out who you are, who you're going to be, and what you're going to do with your life. I've recently learned something about myself, about my sexuality. What I've learned is that… I'm gay."

Dad took a deep breath the way I'd done. We were similar in many ways; both handsome, intelligent, and charismatic. Physically, the only thing that set us a part was that he was one-hundred percent Caucasian, and I was fifty percent Filipino like my mother. But after tonight, Richard Anderson would see that ethnicity was not our only difference.

"Now, Blaine," Dad chuckled uncomfortably. "I know that some of your past encounters with girls have been rather awkward, but that doesn't mean that you're gay. You just haven't found the right girl yet. Believe me, once you do, you'll be over this phase."

"It's not a phase, Dad," I sighed. "It's who I am. I'm gay. I like guys." I lowered my head and stared at my polished black shoes. "You're not going to kick me out, are you?"

"Of course not, Blaine," Mom promised; she attempted a smile, but it looked more like she was having gas pains. Dad didn't look happy, but he didn't look hateful. Richard and Samantha didn't hate their son for being gay. They weren't thrilled about it either, though.

They were disappointed. I tried not to remember the looks on their faces when I came out to them. I came out to the rest of the world – on facebook, no less. My info had currently read 'Sex: Male.' That's all. Nothing more. The night I came out to my parents I logged onto my computer and added 'Interested In Men.' A few of my friends from school commented on the update and wrote things like "Wow, it's a bummer your account got hacked, man. Once you get it back, you'd better change your info or else everyone's gonna think you're gay." I swallowed and replied, "No, I am Blaine, and I am gay." Some of my closer friends sent me private messages, asking me how the hell I came to this conclusion. I explained to them that I tried to change my sexuality many times, but I couldn't. One or two of my friends didn't care. The others removed me. Some even blocked me. That hurt.

I played sports in middle school, but once I started high school I decided that performing arts were more my calling. I still enjoyed sports, but I'd rather be a part of a choir than a team. While playing sports in sixth grade, I was on a team with Reggie Williams, who was now a junior. I had the misfortune of walking by him in the hallway the day following the evening I came out to the worldwide web. All I did was walk innocently by him.

"Watch where you're leering, queer," Reggie spat at me. What? I wasn't even looking at him! But I didn't stand up for myself. I just kept walking, my hazel eyes staring at Reggie in confusion. The bully continued, "I don't want you staring at my ass, fucking homo."

I didn't say anything in response, but in my mind I said I may be gay, but I'd rather marry a woman than stare at your quote-ass-unquote. I wished that I had the confidence to say this aloud, but how could I? Reggie was one of the most popular boys in school. If I opened my mouth, Reggie and his army of friends would get me. I walked to lunch quietly and sat down with Tyler. He observed my fashionable Ralph Lauren outfit and eyed it enviously for a second.

"So, how'd it go?" he asked. He'd seen the facebook update, so he knew I'd come out.

"Terrible," I replied. "Have people been talking about it?"

"Yeah, especially the girls," Tyler chuckled. "Most of them think it's hot, but a few of them are bummed out. They were hoping to go with you to the Sadie Hawkins Dance. Now that you're out of the closet, you might try finding a guy to go with."

I smiled at him. "I think I've found one."

Tyler choked briefly on his drink. "I was being sarcastic, Blaine."

"Tyler Smith, will you go to the Sadie Hawkins Dance with me?" I asked charmingly.

"Oh, well… don't you think that's kind of risky? I mean, you've just come out, Blaine. People are really cruel to gay guys, especially when they're together. It might be dangerous for us to go togeth –"

"Why do I have to hide who I am?" I wanted to know. "Why do you? We're not even going as boyfriends or anything, just as friends."

"Don't you get it?" Tyler hissed. "People here wouldn't know the difference."

"Well, they should pay attention," I scoffed. "We're just two gay friends."

Tyler sighed. "Blaine, I really would love to go as your friend."

I gave an irresistible, pearly white grin that made him blush. "Then we shall. You pick me up at seven on the night of the dance. Buy a nice suit. Who says a guy can't look fashionable?"

I was actually very excited about the Sadie Hawkins Dance. On the evening of the event, I borrowed an Armani suit that my father wore to one of his own high school dances. "Are you sure you want to do this, Blaine?" Richard asked. "I say you should think about it."

"I want to go with Tyler, Dad," I replied. "Why is my going with a boy any different than a boy going with a girl? How is it any different from when you went with my mother? Sex isn't everything. I'm not even dating Tyler. We're just friends. I don't understand why people think that because two gay guys go somewhere together, they're dating. People are shallow."

"People are shallow, Blaine," Richard said hesitantly, like he didn't wish to admit that he himself was one of those people. "And I don't want you to suffer the consequences. I think you two should at least bring a girl or two to make it look friendlier, and less romantic."

"You sound just like them, Dad," I said resentfully, and I walked toward the front door when I heard someone beep at me from outside. It was Tyler. I fixed his tie and stepped outside. I got into the car and smiled at my date. "Good evening, Tyler."

"Hello, Blaine," the blond replied, and the two of us were on our way to the dance.

We got out of the car, still laughing about something we'd been talking about on the ride. Tyler stopped laughing and stiffened when he saw Reggie, Kenneth, and Jay standing in a clump in front of the school, glaring right at the two of us. "Blaine," he said.

"Look boys, it's that fag Tyler and his boyfriend," Reggie said, his scowl transforming into a smirk. The same happened to the looks on the other boy's faces. The athletes cracked their knuckles. Reggie decided to call Tyler out since the two of them were juniors and I was a freshman, and in Reggie's opinion, so inferior that I couldn't even be addressed by name. Tyler and I were so afraid that we stopped moving. The athletes lunged forward and attacked. It was a blur for me. All I remembered was that one of the Jay grabbed Tyler and slammed him up against the wall of one of the portables. The blond cried out in pain; I heard a loud crack that hopefully wasn't but very well could have been Tyler's skull. Kenneth grabbed my arms and punched me in the ribs and stomach. I groaned and hollered out at the pain. I'd never been beaten up before, so I'd never expected it to be this painful.

Reggie stepped toward me and sneered. "Ew, I almost don't want to hit him. I only hope that if I touch him, he doesn't like it. Disgusting fag." Kenneth cackled obnoxiously. Reggie cracked his knuckles and punched me in the nose. I could smell the blood. I could taste it as well when Reggie punched me in the teeth. The pain became so much that I fell to my knees onto the cold cement ground. The boys started kicking me in the ribs after all that punching they'd done! Why wouldn't they stop? How could they do this?

Finally, two police officers arrived at the scene and began throwing the athletes off of the us. "What the hell is going on here?" one of the officers demanded. "Why would you boys do something like this on the night of a high school dance?" I supposed that some of the students had seen what was going on, and told the officers who were always at the school because of situations like this. I hoped that the officers would arrest the boys, but a dean came by and said that the athletes were only going to be suspended. Just suspended.

"Don't say I didn't tell you so," Tyler spat, his shoulder smacking mine as he walked by me to the ambulance. I was asked to follow. Tyler didn't speak to me during the ride to the hospital. He only stared down at his nice pants that were covered in blood. My clothes were covered in blood as well. Was Tyler the only one who had the right to be angry? All I wanted to do was go to the dance with my friend; neither of us deserved this.

Fortunately neither of us had been knocked unconscious, but we felt defeated enough to have been. After we were placed in separate hospital beds, the Andersons and Smith's arrived. "I told you not to do this, Blaine!" Richard shouted. "I told you there would be consequences! You're not like those other boys, so you're not man enough to stand up for yourself! I knew this would happen! This is what happens when you're… like you!"

I scowled. "You're telling me that I'm not man enough because I'm gay."

Richard sighed loudly. "Yes! I'm telling you you're not man enough because you're gay!"

"Oh Blaine," Samantha said, trying to make this a little less ugly. She grabbed her son around my shoulders and gave me what she thought to be a comforting hug. She rubbed my back and said softly, "It's alright. You're okay now. It's over. You're safe now, Blaine."

I was glad that Tyler and his family moved to North Carolina only a month later. He didn't want to have to face me every day for the next year after what had happened. It didn't matter. That next year I would be attending school at Dalton Academy, where bullying was simply not tolerated… where one wasn't merely suspended for beating the living crap out of someone else because of their sexuality. My parents had the money Dalton required.

** . . . . . . . . . . . .**

** Author's Note: You all probably think I'm crazy for working on so many stories at once, but with Glee not being on again until November, I am going crazy, pretty much. I need to keep myself preoccupied, so that's why I've been writing so much! I hope to update "TwiLight It Up!" within the next few days. The next chapter of this fic will be where Blaine starts school at Dalton. * Kenneth, Reggie, and Jay are loosely based on some guys I go to school with. ***


	2. It's Enforced

**Define 'Courage'****: Blaine's life before, during, and after Dalton and Kurt.**

**This is written in Blaine's point of view. Glee belongs to Ryan Murphy, Ian Brennan, and Brad Falchuk.**

***Warning* This fic contains violence, intolerance, swearing, and sexuality, just in case these really bother anyone. Rated T For Safety. **

** . . . . . . . . . . . .**

**It's Enforced **

There was something very different - almost dreamlike, about Dalton. It wasn't like a school. There were no lockers or kids making out and talking on their cell phones. Everyone was dignified. It felt like I was in a luxurious hotel or posh business workplace, or both. All of the boys (young men, rather) wore dapper dark blue blazers and Burberry satchels on their arms. Almost every face I saw was very handsome; each cute Orlando Bloom clone was like something out of my fantasies. The grand chandelier glistening above the main staircase looked like a picture from a book on the Titanic come to life. I was instantly blown away by Dalton, by its beauty, and by the overwhelming feeling of serenity. Of peace. Of sanctuary. The dome roof above my head was like a stained glass window in a church built just for me.

It was spring right now, such an awkward time for me to have transferred. All the boys at Dalton had just recently begun studying for their exams. No matter how calm being here made me feel, I knew I looked like a nervous wreck. Right away everyone would be able to tell that I was a freshman and that I was the new kid. The new gay kid that fled here from hell.

Last week I met the headmaster. He smiled at my parents and reassured them that I would never have to worry about being bullied here. "Everyone at Dalton gets treated the same, no matter what they are. It's enforced." He was a quiet-spoken middle-aged man with pale, thin hair. He'd given my dorm number, my key, and paperwork to fill out before I was officially a student at Dalton. Today was my first day. I was going to wait until later to find my dorm and meet my roommates. What a relief to know that in a place like this, my roommates wouldn't beat the living crap out of me just because I played for the other team.

Lunch time came, but the eating area here was nothing like at my lunch school. There was no huge, filthy cafeteria where the air was filled with the cacophony of mindless chatter and shouting lunch ladies and janitors. Instead, I found myself in what was like a lovely little café. It was like I wasn't at school, but rather at a very plush Starbucks. I had no where to sit, but that didn't bother me like it did in a public school. In a public school, everyone would stare at you and talk about you behind your back when you had no one to sit with. Here, no one really cared. If you ate alone, it was your business. So I got a cup of coffee (at what school can you get coffee?) and sat down in a cozy corner by the window. For about ten minutes I looked around the room, observing my well-mannered schoolmates. After that, I was joined. It was a pleasant surprise. Both boys had handsome faces; one of them was part Asian, like me, and the other was black. They both grinned and offered to shake my hand. They were sophomores.

"Hello, I'm David Thompson," said the black boy in a friendly tone of voice.

"I'm Wes Montgomery," the part-Asian boy added.

"I'm Blaine Anderson," I informed them.

"You're the new kid, aren't you?" David chuckled.

I blushed. "Is it really that obvious?"

"We saw you sitting all by yourself and figured that you don't know anyone here yet," David explained. "We thought we might introduce ourselves."

"We heard what happened to you, Blaine," Wes said. "It's terrible."

I felt a pinch behind my eyes, not because the memories came back, but because someone actually felt sorry for what happened. Someone actually cared, and wanted to talk about it with me. Someone was on my side. "Yeah, well…" my voice trailed off.

Wes shook his head. "It's alright, Blaine. What you had to go through at your last school: you will never have to deal with that again. You're safe here."

I almost did start to cry then. "Thank you so much," I said faintly.

"Something tells me that you're in for an amazing time here at Dalton, Blaine," David said kindly. "There's so many opportunities for you here. Do you like to sing, Blaine?"

My face lit up. "I do, actually."

"Well, we have a Glee Club here," David said. "Was there a Glee Club at your school?"

"Y-yeah, I think, but no one really thought it was cool," I mumbled.

"The boys in Glee Club here are worshipped, practically," David informed me. "We're the Warblers. All you have to do to get in is audition. Would you be interested?"

I couldn't believe that someone was actually inviting me to be part of something.

"I would love that," I told him enthusiastically. "I'm a pretty good singer."

"Splendid," Wes said contently. "And you don't have to audition today or even this week if you're not ready. And you can always change your mind."

"I am interested," I assured him. "I'll probably audition someday soon."

They both smiled and nodded at me. "Awesome, Blaine," said David.

Later that afternoon I went up to the dorm rooms and found my door. I lifted my key toward the lock as the sound of footsteps came close. Two boys approached me; one with shaggy blond hair and the other with dark brown. They smiled politely.

"Hi," said the brunet. "I'm Nick." He extended his hand.

"Blaine," I told him, and then I shook the blond's hand. His name was Jeff.

"We're your roommates, I believe," said Nick. "So you're a freshman too?"

"Yup." I nodded.

"Awesome," said Jeff, patting me on the shoulder. "Hey, you met Wes and David, right?"

"Yup," I said again.

"They told us you might wanna join Glee Club," Jeff said. "So you do?"

"Yes, I do." I smiled enthusiastically.

"Awesome," Jeff replied.

I observed the dorm room and saw six four-poster beds. My jaw dropped. I was used to seeing lavish rooms like the ones at this school, but it just surprised me here because this was a school. No, it was too beautiful to be a school. Five of the beds had stuff on them, which meant they'd already been claimed. One of them was unclaimed. It sat there, just for me.

"I think I've found my bed," I chuckled, and they laughed in response. I went over to the soft, comfy bed and set my bags down to claim it. It was right by the window. After brushing my teeth, taking a shower, and putting on my velvet burgundy bathrobe, I got under the covers and lay there for hours, telling Jeff and Nick about my life. Jeff sat over on his own bed, and Nick sat at a desk by a lamp. Both boys worked on their homework as they spoke to me. I had no homework yet, since today was only my first day. There were three other boys in our dorm; none of them were in Glee Club, but they were all very nice. Their names were Robert, Michael, and Ryan. After talking to them as well as Jeff and Nick, I decided that this all really was a dream. It was all too good to be true. Everyone and everything was too nice to be real. I worried that if I shut my eyes to go to sleep, I would open them and all of this would be gone. I would be back by those portables, getting punched in the teeth by Reggie Williams.

I did fall asleep, and I dreamed about my parents. My father frowned at me, telling me that I wasn't a man. He told me that I was practically a little girl - a scared little girl, because I was gay, and because I ran from my fears. I came to live in a gilded cage and hide from him and from the rest of the world. I was a coward. I was worthless. I wasn't the son he always wanted. I woke up crying, crying in that dark room. It was midnight. Everyone was fast asleep. For about an hour, I lay there crying, fondly remembering what life was like before I came out.

My dad thought the world of me back then. He would take me everywhere and introduce me to everyone he knew. I was his perfect son, a spitting image of himself. Now I was his perfect mistake, his greatest failure. Where did he go wrong? I cried because I missed talking to him. Now I didn't even live with him. I lived in a dorm room, and would only get to see him on holidays and in the summer. I was hiding from him. I was a coward. But no. Not anymore.

Within the next few weeks, I decided to audition for the Warblers. Sitting behind a fancy desk with Wes and David was a cute Hispanic boy named Thad. He hit the desk with a gavel to call everyone's attention and then he announced me. "Warblers, Blaine Anderson."

I opened my mouth and started to sing, "And I'd give up forever to touch you, 'cause I know that you feel me somehow. You're the closest to Heaven that I'll ever be, and I don't wanna go home right now. 'Cause all I can taste is your swoon, and all I can breathe is your life. Now sooner or later it's over. I just don't wanna miss you tonight. And I don't want the world to see me, 'cause I don't think that they'd understand. When everything's made to be broken, I just want you to know who I am. Now you can't fight the tears that ain't coming; all the moments, your truths and your lies. When everything feels like the movies, yeah, you plead just to know you're alive. And I don't want the world to see me, 'cause I don't think that they'd understand. When everything's made to be broken, I just want you to know who I am. And I don't want the world to see me, 'cause I don't think that they'd understand. When everything's made to be broken, I just want you to know who I am. Now I don't want the world to see me, 'cause I don't think that they'd understand. Now everything's made to be broken. I just want you to know who I am. I just want you to know who I am. I just want you to know who I am. I just want you to know who I am."

The reaction I received let me know that I had made the right choice by deciding to audition for Glee Club. Everyone cheered loudly, and so much that Thad had to bang his gavel to get them to eventually stop. "Wow! What a voice, Blaine!" he told me. "You have a very nice, trained voice that I could hear singing lead for us at a show choir competition one day."

I felt the urge to cry, but I didn't. I beamed happily. "Thank you so much."

"Yeah Blaine, just audition for some solos and let's see," David said with a grin.

I went to Glee Club after classes every day for the remainder of my freshman year, and would be sure to do so every day in my upcoming sophomore year. The more the Warblers heard of my voice, the more they liked it. I started snatching solos from upperclassmen, and my head got a little big. Here I was, this dorky little freshman, and the Warblers worshipped me enough to let me sing lead for almost every song. I became the most popular boy in Glee Club. Almost all of my fellow Warblers knew I was gay, but a few of them were unaware and offered to hook me up with girls from our sister school Crawford Country Day who had seen me and thought I was cute, so they felt kind of awkward when I told them the truth. They didn't mind; they just didn't know what to tell the girls. There was one girl named Janie Whitman with silver blonde hair and icy blue eyes who was super pushy and didn't take no for an answer. Every time she saw me when the boys of Dalton and the girls of Crawford met up, she would flirt relentlessly, so I would just be charming and polite back. I wished that I could have as many male admirers as I did female. Being the Warblers lead would be perfect if only I had a handsome boyfriend to go with it. A sweet, pretty boy-boyfriend. I went out shopping and bought some pamphlets on gay sex since no one had ever taught me about it. I was fascinated by what I read, and decided already that I was a top, not a bottom. For years I'd day-dreamed about men and boys, but now that I'd learned about gay sex, I thought about them more than ever. The dreams became dirtier. I needed a boyfriend. A Draco Malfoy for my Harry Potter.

Summer began. Wes, David, and their girlfriends took me out to the GAP to shop.

"With you singing lead, we could make it to Nationals next year," David was saying just as I laid my eyes on the most beautiful man I'd ever seen. He was a few years older than me, and obviously an employee here at the store. He had golden curls that looked regal, dreamy brown eyes, a chiseled face and nice physique. "Uh oh… what are you looking at, Blaine?" David laughed. Wes smiled, and the two of them exchanged looks after seeing the blond GAP employee. David waved his hand and snapped his fingers in front of my face. "Hello, Blaine!"

"W-what, yeah?" I said in surprise. Wes' girlfriend Maria and David's girlfriend Laverne laughed teasingly and asked me if I was interested in the sexy GAP employee. I blushed a furious red color and stared down at my shoes. "Um… uh… huh… well… I -"

"Hey sir," Laverne said loudly, taking me by the shoulder and bringing me over to the Adonis of a blond. "My friend here was looking for something, and he was wondering if you might be able to help him find it."

The blond looked me over (oh, I hoped he checked me out!), and said, "Of course." He winked and motioned for me to walk with him. Laverne pinched my shoulder before I went off. "So…" said the gorgeous blond. "My name is Jeremiah. And you are?"

"B-Blaine," I stuttered. So I could sing solo in front of a group of boys and I couldn't even say my name without sounding like a freak in front of one guy? I'm sure he was wondering why I sounded so nervous. He probably knew that I was gay. I was such an idiot.

"What are you looking for?" Jeremiah asked, sticking a pen behind his ear.

A boyfriend, I thought to myself. "Um… I honestly don't remember."

"That's okay." He smiled kindly. "Can I help you with anything?"

"No," I replied, and then when he started off, I blurted out, "Would you like to have a coffee with me sometime?" Oh. My. God. Oh, I hoped he was gay. I hoped he was gay! Otherwise, I would seem like the biggest creep on the planet.

I sighed with relief after he smiled widely and said quietly, "I'd like that. I actually get off of work in twenty minutes. Can you wait up for me?"

"I'll wait forever," I mumbled under my breath, and said louder, "Yeah, I will."

Jeremiah flashed another beautiful grin and walked off to help another customer. That grin caused all of the butterflies in my stomach to go nuts, and my face to turn a bright red. The most gorgeous man I'd ever seen just accepted my request to go on a date with him - well, have coffee with him. He could have been a model! Wes, Maria, David, and Laverne went over to me and asked me what Jeremiah said. I told them that I was going to have coffee with him in less than twenty minutes. They wished me luck, and I crossed my fingers. This guy was gay, right?

Jeremiah joined me and we walked together over to the Lima Bean. At first we just sat there, staring at each other. It was so awkward. We weren't staring longingly, but nervously. What were we supposed to say? "Summer's just begun," Jeremiah grimaced. "Any plans?"

I wasn't about to hang around at home with my parents. "Yeah, I'm performing at various little theme parks, I guess," I replied quietly. I was going to work all summer so that I barely had to see Richard and Samantha Anderson. I asked him about his job, so we talked about work for a while. Then I started telling him all about Dalton, and he looked even more uncomfortable. He finally asked, "How old are you?" to which I replied, "Fifteen."

An expression of panic appeared on his face, and he sat there for about five more minutes before saying, "I really should get going. I've gotta be somewhere. But I had a great time, Blaine."

"Can we do this again sometime?" I asked desperately.

He shrugged but smiled. "Sure." Then he was gone.

I felt so rejected. When I got home for the evening, my dad stood there smiling.

"Hey buddy," he said, and I stared cautiously at him. What did he want? "Look what I got," he said, pointing in the garage at a brand new car. "I thought maybe we could take a look at it for a few hours. I think you'll like it." I rolled my eyes. It was obvious what he was trying to do. He thought that maybe if I stared at a car for a few hours, I might turn straight.

"Yeah Dad, let's look at it," I said in a monotone, and he showed me all the parts to a car and explained them in great detail. He told me how to fix it if it broke down or malfunctioned in any way. It would have been nice if it was actual father-son bonding time, and not some kind of experiment. I couldn't wait for summer to end, and to be back at Dalton. At Dalton, no one wanted to change who I was.

. . . . . . . . . . .

**Author's Note: My apologizes. I forgot to warn about the f-word in the first chapter. I promise to warn you in the future whenever that word is going to be present in this story. I also made a couple of errors in the last one, like I wrote 'She grabbed her son around my shoulders and gave me what she thought to be a comforting hug,' and there was something else, so I also apologize for any errors. I'd just like to say that I'm glad that Dalton is a good experience for Blaine, since my own private school experience wasn't so much. I'm a straight girl; I'm not gay and I'm not a boy but I've always been shy, so I tried private school in sixth grade to see if the kids would be more tolerant but they were even snobbier than the kids in public school. I'm not saying that all private school kids are like that, but that was my experience. The kids are nicer to me in public school, for the most part. I hope you enjoyed this chapter. It's terrible what happened to Blaine in the chapter prior to this one, and I wanted him to have a break, a bit of peace. I think that's what Dalton provided for him. Janie Whitman is a character who was mentioned in one of my other fics, "Senior Year." I couldn't resist mentioning Harry Potter! Blaine IS portrayed by Darren Criss!**


	3. Let's Run Away And Don't Ever Look Back

**Define 'Courage'****: Blaine's life before, during, and after Dalton and Kurt.**

**This is written in Blaine's point of view. Glee belongs to Ryan Murphy, Ian Brennan, and Brad Falchuk.**

***Warning* This fic contains violence, intolerance, swearing, and sexuality, just in case these really bother anyone. Rated T For Safety. **

** . . . . . . . . . . . .**

**Let's Run Away And Don't Ever Look Back **

It was an exciting day. The Warblers were going to have an impromptu performance in the senior commons. It was Thad's idea. He said that a lot of boys in his classes were talking about the Warblers and how awesome they thought they were. Hearing something like that motivated us to share our music with the rest of the school, especially me because I was the lead singer. Performing made me feel such a rush.

I hurried down the spiral staircase, hoping that I would get there in time and that I would remember the lyrics. "Excuse me," said a soft, unsure voice. I turned around and looked up at a boy taller than me, my age or maybe older. He had coifed brown hair, a slender frame, fair skin, and blue eyes that shimmered with innocence. "Um, hi. Can I ask you a question?" he asked. "I'm new here."

I was reminded of myself, when I first came to Dalton. "My name's Blaine," I said, smiling and extending my hand.

He shook it and said shyly, "Kurt." He looked around at the hurried boys and asked, "So, what exactly is going on?"

"The Warblers," I replied enthusiastically. "Every now and then they throw an impromptu performance in the senior commons. It tends to shut the school down for a while."

He looked surprised. "So, wait. The Glee Club here is kind of cool?"

The frightened-looking boy observed the stampede of boys surrounding us, and the only thing I could think of was myself when I was new here. He looked like a deer in the headlights. Perhaps he was gay? I couldn't really imagine him being straight. His body language and high, breathy voice made him more obvious than me. I wanted to help him.

"The Warblers are like rock stars," I told him. He raised an eyebrow in response. "Come on. I know a shortcut."

I took his hand and we ran together through an empty hall. I spoke to him, and he just listened. He seemed moved by my friendliness, and I was glad that I had been able to reach out and make him feel welcome. "After a few months here, you know which routes to take when others are too crowded," I explained, allowing my legs to carry me - carry us - as fast as they could. It felt like we were flying; me running and holding his hand. The run only lasted a few minutes, but it felt like a millennia. Like time had stopped, and the only thing that existed was us. Finally we reached the doors.

The commons were filled with excitement. The new boy tightened his hold on his bag. "Ooh, I stick out like a sore thumb," he exhaled.

"Well, next time don't forget your jacket, new kid." I touched his shoulder. "You'll fit right in." I gave the small, charming wink I used to give Tyler Smith, and Kurt smiled and blushed. "Now, if you'll excuse me."

I joined my backup singers. Yep, I'd surprised him. He probably didn't know I was in the Glee Club, or that I was the lead singer. We began, _"You think I'm pretty without any makeup on. You think I'm funny when I tell the punch line wrong. I know you get me, so I let my walls come down. Down. Before you met me, I was alright, but things were kind of heavy. You brought me to life. Now every February, you'll be my valentine."_

I looked over at Kurt. His cheeks were a rosy shade of pink. I grinned. It was great to have a specific person to sing to. _"Valentine. Let's go all the way tonight. No regrets, just love. We can dance until we die. You and I, we'll be young forever! You make me feel like I'm living a teenage dream, the way you turn me on."_

Kurt was surrounded by so many boys, but I didn't see any of them. I only saw him. He and I were the only ones in the world. _"I can't sleep. Let's run away and don't ever look back. Don't ever look back. My heart stops when you look at me. Just one touch, now baby, I believe this is real. So take a chance and don't ever look back. Don't ever look back. We drove to Cali and got drunk on the beach. Got a motel and built a fort out of sheets. I've finally found you, my missing puzzle piece. I'm complete. Let's go all the way tonight. No regrets, just love. We can dance until we die. You and I, we'll be young forever! You make me feel like I'm living a teenage dream, the way you turn me on. I can't sleep. Let's run away and don't ever look back. Don't ever look back. My heart stops when you look at me. Just one touch, now baby, I believe this is real. So take a chance and don't ever look back. Don't ever look back. I'm-a get your heart racing in my skintight jeans. Be your teenage dream tonight."_

Kurt laughed and turned away bashfully. I looked right at him. _"Let you put your hands on me in my skintight jeans. Be your teenage dream tonight. Ooh, ahh. Yeah! You make me feel like I'm living a teenage dream, the way you turn me on. I can't sleep. Let's run away and don't ever look back. Don't ever look back. My heart stops when you look at me. Just one touch, now baby, I believe this is real. So take a chance and don't ever look back. Don't ever look back. I'm-a get your heart racing in my skintight jeans. Be your teenage dream tonight." _He had an adorable little smile on his face. You could barely see his teeth and his eyes were all scrunched up. It was the happiest I'd seen him look since I met him. He clapped enthusiastically; he almost seemed out of breath.

As my buddies congratulated me on the performance, I watched David approach Kurt and whisper something to him. At the same time Wes approached me and said, "He's a spy."

"Ah," I chuckled. "Why am I not surprised?" It was obvious why the boy was here. He came the same reason I came.

"David's inviting him to join us for coffee," Wes said to me with a smile.

"Good," I said, staring at the embarrassed singer of New Directions, McKinley High's Glee Club - our competition for Sectionals. "'Cause I've got a lot to say to him."

Wes pat me on the back. He knew what I was talking about. "I know you do."

Wes, David, and I walked ahead of Kurt over to the café. He followed timidly, like a little kid in trouble. But he wasn't in trouble. We wanted to help. When we reached our table, David gestured for him to sit down. "Make yourself comfortable."

The three of them sat down, and I went over to get us all lattes. I returned and handed Wes and David theirs, kept mine, and slid Kurt's across the table. "Latte?"

"Thank you," he said quietly, cautiously.

"This is Wes and David," I introduced them.

"It's very civilized for you to invite me for coffee before you beat me up for spying."

"We are not going to beat you up," Wes promised him.

"You were such a terrible spy, we thought it was sort of… endearing," David laughed.

"Which made me think that spying on us wasn't really the reason you came," I explained.

Kurt chuckled nervously and said, "Can I ask you guys a question?" We waited. He lowered his voice and asked, "Are you guys all gay?"

We all laughed and he looked embarrassed. He felt he shouldn't have asked.

"Uh, uh, no," I replied. "I mean, I am, but these two have girlfriends."

"This is not a gay school," David explained. "We just have a zero-tolerance harassment policy."

"Everybody gets treated the same," Wes said. "No matter what they are. It's pretty simple."

Kurt looked overwhelmed. I stared at him, trying to read him, trying to figure him out. I wanted to hear what he needed to say, but I needed to speak alone with him. It seemed I'd been in his place, been him, before, and Wes and David wouldn't be able to give him the advice that I could give. "Would you guys excuse us?" I asked.

"Yeah. Take it easy, Kurt," Wes said. He and David nodded and left.

Kurt turned away, and I watched his chest rise and fall. "I take it you're having trouble at school," I supposed.

"I'm the only person out of the closet at my school," he said faintly. I could tell that he was broken. He'd had a fiery spirit, but others had taken him apart out of spite. A tear managed to slide down his cheek. "And I-I-I tried to stay strong about it… but there's this Neanderthal who's made it his mission to make my life a living hell." His voice cracked. He shook his head. "And nobody seems to notice."

I figured as much. "I know how you feel." I'd been waiting to say this to him. I could see how hurt he was, but I wanted to help him so badly. "I got taunted at my old school, and it really - it pissed me off." I huffed bitterly. I didn't like using nasty words, but it was the only one that really expressed how I felt. "I even complained about it to the faculty, and they were sympathetic and all." He stopped shaking. "But you could just tell that nobody really cared. It was like… 'Hey, if you're gay, your life's just gonna be miserable. Sorry. Nothing we can do about it.'"

Kurt turned away, like he agreed. He knew exactly what I was talking about. "So I left," I went on. "I came here. Simple as that. So you have two options. I mean, I'd love to tell you just to come enroll here, but tuition at Dalton's sort of steep, and I know that's not an option for everybody… or you can refuse to be the victim. Prejudice is just ignorance, Kurt. And you have a chance right now to teach him." I wanted to see if Kurt could do what I couldn't.

"How?" he asked curiously.

"Confront him," I said, and I wondered if I was trying to live through Kurt. Trying to see if I could send my message through him, tell my story through him. I was his mentor. "Call him out." I leveled with him. "I ran, Kurt. I didn't stand up. I let bullies chase me away, and it is something that I really, really regret. You don't have to wind up like me. Is… this helping you?" I chuckled.

"Yes, actually," he smiled. "You're like the… gay Yoda."

I laughed. "Well, I try. But I really mean it, Kurt. I mean every word of it. Don't let this Neanderthal guy scare you away. What's his name? Who is this guy anyway?"

"Dave Karofsky," Kurt replied. From the look on his face I gathered that saying the name left a bad taste in his mouth.

I scoffed. "Sounds like a real winner, this Dave Karofsky. No. He sounds like a coward. Like the cowardly lion. You're not a coward, Kurt. You have courage. You're brave. You have courage."

Kurt sniffed and gave a small laugh. "A gay Yoda who puts life into _Wizard of Oz_ perspective. Where have you been all my life?"

I laughed and stood up. "Come here," I told him, and he watched curiously as I opened my arms to him. I was offering a hug. His entire face lit up, and he stood up to return the hug. He seemed to melt in my embrace. I tried not to feel smug about that.

"Thank you, Blaine," he said breathlessly after he finally let me go. He fixed his hair, adjusted his bag strap, and stepped away. He nearly fell over a chair, but quickly caught himself. He squeaked and blushed furiously. "I really enjoyed meeting you today. Tell your friends Wes and David I said bye."

"I'll be sure to do just that, Kurt," I chuckled. "But wait, before you go, give me your number. I want you to text me, and let me know how it goes with that freak Karofsky if you decide to confront him."

"Alright," he said. "555-431-8920."

"Thanks," I said after adding him to my Contacts List. "I'll send you a text, and you'll know it's me. Also, I want to send you a picture of me. Because I'm so handsome." He blushed and I said, "No, just kidding. I'll send you a picture of myself so you can look at it and remember to have courage, like I told you. Okay, Kurt?"

His face was still bright red. He looked so touched by my kindness. "Okay."

"One more hug," I told him, and he melted into my embrace once again. "Bye, Kurt."

"Bye, Blaine!" He skipped away and waved his fingers daintily at me.

"Remember, if things don't work out as planned, you're always welcome here at Dalton," I reminded him. "But please try to show this idiot who's the boss."

"I will, Blaine - I promise." His voice became quieter when he said 'I promise.' Perhaps he was still too afraid to confront Karofsky, but he would find courage. I knew he would. I would see him again, and I would be sure to give him the courage he needed. He mattered a lot to me.

** . . . . . . . . . . . **

** Author's Note: This chapter was obviously based on the season two episode "Never Been Kissed." Blaine taking Kurt's hand and running through the empty room in Dalton is one of my favorite scenes out of all the Glee episodes. It's so sweet! Being in the Drama Club keeps me so unfortunately busy that for the next few weeks I won't be able to have as much time to write, but I will still attempt to update as often as I possibly can. The next chapter will also be based on "Never Been Kissed." I loved "The First Time," and was particularly happy with the ending. **


	4. Surrounded By Darkness

**Surrounded By Darkness**

I sat on my bed in my dorm, sketching a picture of Jeremiah. I'd told Nick I was doing homework. _'You make me feel like I'm living a teenage dream!'_ My phone. Kurt was calling. "Hello, Kurt Hummel," I said cheerfully.

_"Blaine."_ I recognized that tone. He was in trouble.

"Hey Kurt, it's okay," I said in a kind, gentle tone. "What is it? I'm here. I'm listening."

_"I took your advice,"_ he sniffed. _"I confronted Karofsky."_

I winced. "What happened? He beat you up?"

_"N-no,"_ Kurt shivered. _"He k-kissed me." _

My eyes widened. I couldn't believe what I'd just heard. "Wow. He - he kissed you. That wasn't… so he's gay?"

_"Yes,"_ Kurt gulped_. "I'm just so surprised. I'm shocked; I -"_

"Say nothing more," I stopped him. "I'll be at McKinley tomorrow."

_"You mean, you're gonna confront him?"_ He sounded startled.

"Kind of," I took a deep breath. "I wanna talk to him. I might be able to help."

_"I don't know,"_ Kurt said unsurely. _"He'll probably throw you through a wall before you can say two words. Neanderthals don't talk. They do." _

"You're wrong about him, I think, Kurt." I shook my head. "Apparently he's just like us. He's just scared. He isn't like the bullies I knew at my private school."

Kurt gave a humorless laugh. _"He's_ not _like us." _

"He just might surprise you," I said optimistically. I remembered how I felt when I first started realizing that I was gay. It was a hard time in my life. First I denied it. I laughed off the idea. I couldn't have been gay. Then I became angry, but I never would have hurt anyone like this Karofsky guy was. Then I became depressed, and then, of course, I accepted myself. If Karofsky was in that stage of anger, perhaps I could get him to accept himself? Kurt would probably think I was some kind of miracle worker if I could do that. I didn't want to let him down.

_"You're really brave, Blaine. That's all I can say,"_ Kurt told me.

I smiled weakly. "Thanks, Kurt."

_"I'll go with you to confront Karofsky,"_ Kurt promised_. "I won't let you do it alone."_

"See you tomorrow."

_"Bye."_

"Bye."

I hung up and took another deep breath. What was I getting myself into? Maybe I was giving Karofsky too much credit. I mean, yeah, he was gay like Kurt and me, but he was still a bully like Reggie. Maybe he couldn't be helped. I wanted to believe there was good in everyone, but maybe there wasn't in him. When I tried talking to him, he would either thank me or beat me to a pulp.

"Wow," I whispered in disbelief. "He actually kissed him."

I had not expected that. I'd expected anything but that. I supposed bullies weren't all black and white. Karofsky didn't hate gays. He hated himself.

I fell asleep that night thinking about what had happened to Kurt. I humored myself wondering how I would have felt if Reggie kissed me? It wouldn't have happened; Reggie was straight (I was almost certain), but wouldn't that have been crazy? If I was Kurt, I wouldn't have known what to think. It was just insane. I still couldn't comprehend it. When I'd talked to Kurt on that first day I met him, I prepared him to teach Karofsky not to be prejudice. I hadn't prepared him for this…

Thad drove me to McKinley the next day during our lunch break.

"So, why am I driving you to McKinley?" he wanted to know.

"I need to help Kurt," I replied. "Bully issues."

Thad shook his head. "Good luck."

"Thanks," I replied, writing a text to Kurt.

**Blaine: Where are you? **

** Kurt: Bottom of staircase behind the History building. **

** Blaine: Be there in a sec. **

I got out of the car and walked across campus in my Dalton uniform. People stared curiously at me, wondering who I was and why I was there. A couple of girls started giggling and nudging each other like they thought I was cute. I continued over to the staircase behind the History building. I could see loud teens sitting at lunch tables.

There Kurt was, his hair combed to perfection; dressed in a blue waistcoat, a scarf, and a tight pair of jeans. On his arm was a tote bag. "Hey," I got his attention. He'd been looking around, looking for me.

"Hi," he replied breathlessly. "Thanks again for coming," he went on as we passed some hurrying teens up the stairs.

"Don't worry about it," I said kindly. "Just let me do the talking."

An intimidating, burly guy in a letterman jacket appeared and I hoped he wasn't Karofsky, but he looked like every description Kurt had given me. "There he is," Kurt informed me. _Of course it was him_.

"I got your back," I assured Kurt. I cleared my throat and said in a perfectly calm tone to the bully, "Excuse me."

For a moment he looked surprised, but then he taunted, "Hey, lady boys." I ignored his ignorant comment. He scoffed, looking quite unhappy. "This your boyfriend, Kurt?"

"Kurt and I would like to talk to you about something," I explained.

"I gotta go to class," he snapped, shoving Kurt on his way. Kurt didn't do anything back. He just took it, like a rag doll.

"Kurt told me what you did," I told Karofsky.

He stopped and stuffed his hands into his pockets. "Oh, yeah? What's that?"

"You kissed me," Kurt said shakily.

Karofsky looked around quickly to make sure no one had overheard that. "I don't know what you're talking about." I'd expected him to say that.

"It seems like you might be a little confused, and that's totally normal," I said kindly. "This is a very hard thing to come to terms with," I went on, like a psychologist would, as the bully tried to run away, "and you should just know that you're not alone."

The bully stopped, turned around, and before I knew it, I was up against the railing.

I was frightened, but I couldn't show it. My heart was racing, but all I did was lift my hands in attempt to calm him down.

"You have to stop this!" Kurt shrieked, shoving Karofsky surprisingly hard.

The bully stood there, watching as Kurt stared back at him with his eyes wide and his chest rising and falling. Karofsky wanted to do something. Hit him or come up with some harsh insult. Maybe even kiss him again. But he had nothing. Instead, he ran. He turned around and ran like the closeted coward that he was.

Kurt exhaled, and I said, "Well, he's not coming out any time soon."

Kurt let his bag fall and sat down on one of the steps. I brushed the imaginary dust off my uniform where Karofsky had grabbed me and pushed me up against the railing. I shrugged my arms and looked down at Kurt. "What's going on?" He didn't answer, so I walked over to join him and sat down. "Why are you so upset?"

He sighed. "Because, up until yesterday, I had never been kissed…. Or, at least… one that counted."

I nodded and sighed. I'd actually never been kissed, but I didn't have to tell him that. "Come on. I'll buy you lunch." I pat him on the back, and he smiled tiredly. He sighed again, and followed me down to the lunch line. "One that counted," I repeated what he said. "What does that mean?"

"Last year I kissed this slutty girl named Brittany," Kurt explained, rolling his eyes like it was the biggest mistake he'd ever made. "She's in Glee Club."

I laughed. "Sounds like you hit rock bottom."

Kurt chuckled. "I just hope that next time I kiss somebody, it's someone I actually like."

I sighed. "Don't worry. I'm sure he will be someone you like."

"I don't know." He shrugged. "I haven't had much luck with guys I like. Most of them are straight."

"I know how you feel," I assured him. "For years I had a crush on Chase Crawford."

"That's not really the same, though," Kurt mumbled. "You don't know him. He can't reject you to your face."

"I know," I assured him. "I'm sorry. But you'll definitely find the right man. I mean, you're a great guy."

His blue eyes twinkled with hope. "You really think so?"

"I know so," I said with a warm smile. He blushed, and I pat him on the back again and said, "I'm gonna buy you a pizza."

He wrinkled up his nose and scrunched up his eyes. "I'd hardly call it a pizza. The food served at this school isn't satisfactory."

"Oh well," I chuckled with a shrug. I paid for his food and for my own. Then we walked over to an empty table and sat down. A plump African American girl with a trendy outfit approached us with her tray.

"Hi Kurt," she said sweetly. She looked a little threatened after observing me. "Mind if I sit here?"

"Not at all," I said with a bright smile. "Hi, my name's Blaine."

"Actually Mercedes, I need to talk to Blaine alone," Kurt said softly.

The girl looked hurt. "Fine," she said, turning around and walking away.

Kurt gave a long sigh and I said, "I understand that you're feeling distant, but you shouldn't alienate yourself from your friends."

"I don't know what to say to her right now," Kurt mumbled, staring blankly at his pizza.

"Kurt, I'm gonna help you with this Karofsky guy," I promised him. "So I wasn't successful today. Don't worry. There's always next time. I'll take care of him."

"I hope so, Blaine," he sighed.


	5. I Think I Wanna Marry You

**Define 'Courage'****: Blaine's life before, during, and after Dalton and Kurt.**

**This is written in Blaine's point of view. Glee belongs to Ryan Murphy, Ian Brennan, and Brad Falchuk.**

** . . . . . . . . . . . .**

**I Think I Wanna Marry You**

"What's wrong?" I chuckled, observing the distant expression on Kurt's face.

He sighed. "I gotta be honest: I think it really got to Mercedes that we saw Greg Evigan in_ Rent_ together."

"Why?" I asked curiously. "She doesn't like _Rent?"_

He took a deep breath and shook his head. "No. Mercedes is my best friend, and I think she's a little jealous that I've been spending so much time with you. Lately she's been obsessing over tots and food - more than usual. I think she's substituting food for love… and that all this time she's been substituting me for a boyfriend."

I nodded. "Oh, I get that. When I had lunch with you that one day, she looked a bit intimidated with me. Well, I want to invite her to have dinner with us at Breadstix tonight."

Kurt laughed uncomfortably. "Blaine, are you sure? You really want to have dinner with her? I don't know… I don't think she likes you very much."

"That's why I want her to have dinner with us," I persisted. "I want to break the ice. She and I are both friends of yours, so I can't think of any reason why we shouldn't become friends as well. I want her to know that I'll never replace her as your best friend."

He sighed. "I guess I haven't been as good as a friend as I could have been."

"What did he do this time?" I asked kindly, seeing that familiar look of fear and resignation on Kurt's face.

"He winked at me," Kurt replied breathlessly. "It was one of those creepy winks - Blaine, Mercedes didn't even look up! She didn't even notice!"

"It's okay, Kurt. I promise," I said, patting him on the back. "Karofsky's not going to hurt you; not as long as I can help it."

Kurt smiled weakly. "Thank you, Blaine. You're amazing -"

"But just because I'm your only gay friend doesn't mean that I'm the only person who would understand what you're going through," I explained to him. "If you told Mercedes -"

"I don't want to tell her," Kurt whispered, shaking his head.

"Fine," I surrendered. "Then we won't tell her about Karofsky. We'll just have a fun dinner. Why don't you dial her number? I want to invite her myself."

Kurt winced. "Be careful… she's kind of sassy…"

I laughed as he dialed the number and handed the phone over to me.

_"Hey Kurt, what's up?"_ Mercedes asked in a cheerful tone. She obviously looked and saw that Kurt's name had come up when she got the call.

"Hey Mercedes, this is Kurt's friend Blaine," I said, my cheerful tone matching hers. She didn't sound cheerful much longer.

_"Oh. What do you want?" _

"Kurt and I would like you to have dinner with us tonight at Breadstix," I explained. "It'll be fun, I promise."

_"Sure,"_ she replied, her voice sounding a little more upbeat. I supposed she didn't mind going to Breadstix with me as long as Kurt was there.

"Great, so we'll see you there!" I said enthusiastically.

_"Yeah, yeah."_

"Bye." And she hung up. "She'll be there," I told Kurt.

"She sounds real happy about seeing you," Kurt chuckled uneasily.

"Come on, she'll love me when she gets to know me," I teased.

"She'd be crazy not to," Kurt blushed.

We got in Kurt's car; I in my Dalton uniform and he in his bowtie, and we arrived at Breadstix not too long later. Mercedes showed up a little after we did. She looked tired, like she didn't want to have to deal with me. I'd wanted this to be a night where Mercedes and I could become friends, but she wound up not saying anything the whole evening. She just sat there miserably, staring at Kurt and I as we discussed marriage in Vegas. I wasn't even sure she was listening.

Kurt said, "I'm just saying that drunk people who get married to someone they met an hour ago by an Elvis impersonator - that's a bigger insult to marriage than two gay guys getting hitched."

"Totally," I agreed. "It's like, if marriage is so sacred, they should just outlaw divorce."

"Right, right," Kurt laughed.

Trying to engage her in our conversation, I asked, "What do you think, Mercedes?"

"Oh… how about 'don't ask, don't tell'?" I was right. She hadn't been listening.

"No, we're on Prop 8 now," Kurt informed her.

"Totally for it," she tried.

"Against it," Kurt corrected.

"Alright. I'm sorry. I kind of just blanked out."

"Don't apologize," I said kindly. "We should talk about stuff that you're interested in too."

"I know," Kurt said enthusiastically. "Let's play a game. On the count of three, name your favorite 2010 _Vogue_ cover." Oh, this was a fun one! "You ready? One, two, three! Marion Cotillard!"

We'd both said the same thing at the same time. Incredible! "Oh my God! Stop it!" I said in disbelief. It was like he'd read my mind; we were like the same person.

"Yes!" Kurt said joyfully.

"She's amazing! Amazing."

"Amazing. Amazing."

"She is just so stylish," I went on.

"And beautiful," Kurt pointed out.

"Come on," I said, noticing that Mercedes looked like she was dozing off again. "Let's talk about something else, like the Buckeyes or something."

"I'm sorry about her," Kurt said, sounding slightly annoyed. His friend looked like she was going to be sick. "Mercedes?" Kurt said in a concerned tone. "Mercedes."

"I was just talking about the Buckeyes," I told her. "I'm a college football fan. I like sports too, you know."

"Way to break the stereotype," Kurt said in an impressed tone, giving me a high five.

"Excuse me," Mercedes said to the waitress. "I know it's not on your menu, but I was wondering if you guys had -"

"You want some tots," the waitress interrupted her. "You kids must go to McKinley." She turned around and walked away.

"So what were we talking about?" Mercedes asked Kurt.

Kurt decided to change the subject, "Has anyone read Patti LuPone's new book?"

I decided to trick Kurt by looking around the room and playing dumb, and for a moment Mercedes looked hopeful. "I'm kidding," I assured Kurt. "Of course I have."

Kurt had looked like he was going to pass out. "You scared me so much there!" he said enthusiastically. I laughed; he was so funny. After about ten more minutes of listening to Kurt and I have 'girl talk,' Mercedes excused herself and left. She claimed to be tired, but I knew she just felt awkward. So much for our evening of bonding.

"No, I don't think she likes you very much," Kurt chuckled.

"Oh well," I shrugged. "Not everyone can… on the bright side, though, Kurt, I've never seen you look happier than you were tonight. You were so upbeat and lively, not at all like you are when you talk about Karofsky. Tonight I could see why Mercedes likes you so much. I had a really fun time with you."

He blushed a bright red that contradicted with his pale complexion. "You make me feel really good about myself, Blaine. I enjoy being with you," he said shyly.

"I enjoy being with you too," I said with a grin. Then I hugged him and we got back into his car. He drove me back to Dalton, where I sat thinking about Mercedes and how much she liked Kurt. I wondered if she thought that Kurt and I were dating. Maybe that was why she hated me so much. I laughed. Kurt and me. _Dating?_ I opened my journal and started writing about Jeremiah. Just the other day I'd gone down to the GAP and invited him to have a coffee with me at the Lima Bean again. He'd accepted, and we would be getting together the next day. I wouldn't be able to sleep. So I stayed up all night, but wasn't even tired in class. I was just excited about Jeremiah!

With his sparkling eyes and shiny golden locks he looked like a prince in a movie about Camelot or a book about fighting dragons. He just looked like a hero out of a fairytale. Since he agreed to have coffee with me again, he was obviously interested. He obviously liked me. It would be amazing to date a hot older guy like him. I arrived at the Lima Bean about an hour before the date was planned for and sat waiting eagerly.

"Hey," Jeremiah said shyly, flashing a beautiful smile as he sat down.

"Hey," I replied, grinning brightly back at him. "So how's your day?"

"Like any other," he sighed - such a beautiful sigh. "Been at the GAP all morning. How about you? How's your day?"

He asked me about my day. "I've been working hard too in my classes."

He got that nervous, uncomfortable look he got every time I brought up classes or school. "Oh, I see." He nodded slowly. "Well, you're in that Glee Club, right? The Warblers? How's that for you?"

"Great," I said smugly. "I am the lead soloist in Glee Club."

He nodded again. "That's impressive."

"Yeah, it is," I agreed. "Between you and me, I think I'm gonna win us Sectionals."

"That's awesome," he said, nodding once again.

"Yeah," I said, nodding again as well.

When Jeremiah and I talked it wasn't like when Kurt and I talked. With Kurt I felt I could be myself, and I was comfortable with myself. I think Kurt was comfortable with me too. But with Jeremiah, I felt like I needed to strain to impress him. And I felt like Jeremiah was really anxious whenever he was around me, like he was stealing a precious jewel from a museum under the watchful eye of a night guard or something. Or like he was trying to hide from God. Ha. What gay man wasn't?

The conversation was trying and painful, but I was happy when it was over not only because I had to entertain him anymore but because I got to spend an entire afternoon with him! I returned to Dalton just in time to rehearse a fun number.

My fellow Warblers sang backup as I sang, _"Sugar, sugar. Oh! She sits alone, waiting for suggestions. He's so nervous, avoiding all her questions. His lips are dry. Her heart is gently pounding. Don't you just know exactly what they're thinking? If you want my body and you think I'm sexy, come on sugar, let me know! If you really need me, just reach out and touch me, come on honey, tell me so! Tell me so, baby. Oh! He's acting shy, looking for an answer. Aw, come on, honey. Let's spend the night together. Now hold on to me, before we go much further. Give me a dime so I can phone my mother. They catch a cab to his high-rise apartment. At last he can tell her exactly how his heart feels! If you want my body and you think I'm sexy, come on sugar, let me know! If you really need me, just reach out and touch me, come on honey, tell me so! Ow! Ooh oh! His heart's beating like a drum. 'Cause at last he's got his girl home. Relax, baby. Now we're all alone. If you want my body and you think I'm sexy, come on honey, let me know. If you really need me, just reach out and touch me. Come on sugar, let me know. If you want my body and you think I'm sexy, come on honey, tell me so. Tell me so, baby. If you really need me, just reach out and touch me. Come on sugar, let me know. Oh, if you want my body!" _

When singing a song like that, it was good to have someone to think about, so I thought of Jeremiah. He was the sexiest person I knew. It sounds really stupid, but I wanted to marry him. My fellow Warblers congratulated and praised me on my spectacular vocals, and then I went to the common room to study a little bit.

A few days later I got a call from Kurt. He actually sounded happy this time, and he told me that his father and his friend Finn's mother were getting married! "Awesome!" I said excitedly. "That sounds like fun! I love weddings!"

_"I'm sorry, but you're not invited,"_ he apologized. _"I want only to invite friends of my dad and Carole (plus the New Directions)."_

"That's fine. I understand," I assured him. "Can I at least help you plan it?"

_"Yes, that's what I was getting at!"_ he explained enthusiastically. _"The New Directions are going to sing at the wedding, so I was planning on having us all dance down the aisle, and for my dad and Carole to dance down the aisle too. Then during the wedding reception, each of us would dedicate a song to them for their special day." _

"Are you gonna become a wedding coordinator one day?" I chuckled.

_"If I don't make it as a big Broadway star,"_ he replied.

"Great. I love it!" I laughed. "Tell me how the wedding went after it's over. And take lots of pictures! Put them on facebook or something. I want to feel like I was there… even though I'm not really going to be there."

He laughed. _"Sure will. Bye, Blaine."_

"Bye Kurt," I replied, and he hung up the phone.

I thought that Kurt would become happier and happier, but as the wedding drew nearer he became more depressed than I'd ever seen him before. Some days he would refuse to talk to me and other days he would ask me to come talk to him and would make me do most of the talking. Something was wrong. I knew it was Karofsky, but he wouldn't tell me what he did. He finally told me after the wedding.

"He threatened to kill me," he said quietly. "And I tried to stay strong and forget it, but then he…" His eyes filled up with tears, his face turned red, and he shook his head. "Then he stole my wedding cake topper and touched my chest, and then he told his dad that he thought I liked him -"

I immediately went over to him and rubbed his back comfortingly. "It's okay, Kurt," I said soothingly. "Kurt, you have to tell your dad."

"I did tell him that he threatened to kill me," Kurt sniffed.

"You have to tell him about the kiss and the…"

"No." He shook his head. "Karofsky said that he would kill me if I told anyone about the kiss. He's angry enough I told you. I'm just so terrified, Blaine. I feel like I'm in one of those horror movies where I'm the only one that sees this horrific monster, and if I told anyone they wouldn't believe me. I feel so alone, and you've always told me to have courage, but I just…" He cried again. "I just don't have courage."

"Yes, you do," I assured him. "You do have courage, and you're not alone. You have me. I understand that you're in a difficult spot right now, so we'll just have to think of something else. We'll come up with something."

He sniffed again and wiped some tears away. "My dad and Carole are gonna go broke, but they talked to me about transferring to Dalton."

As happy as I was that Kurt might be joining me at Dalton, I was a bit disappointed that I couldn't help him overcome his fears and challenges. "That's great, Kurt," I said with a smile. "And I've been saving up a lot of money for years; maybe I can offer to lend some of it for your tuition at Dalton."

His blue eyes widened. "You would do that for me, Blaine?"

"Anything to help my friend," I assured him, and he gave me a big hug. He didn't let me go. I felt at home in his embrace. It was an emotion that my parents would never be able to make me feel again. I had my fellow Warblers and friends at Dalton to talk to and spend time with, but never in a long time had I felt this comfortable. Kurt gave me a sense of family. I could tell that I made him feel the same way.

**. . . . . . . . . . . **

** Author's Note: This chapter is set during the season two episodes "The Substitute" and "Furt." I apologize that I haven't been updating as often as I should be, but my life is so busy! Whenever I write about Blaine being in a common room, I think of Darren in "A Very Potter Musical." I will try to be updating on fanfiction as often as I can so that I can hopefully finish my other two Glee fics soon and possibly start on some new ones as well as working on this one. Bye! P.S. I apologize for any lyric mistakes. **


	6. The Birdcage

**Define 'Courage'****: Blaine's life before, during, and after Dalton and Kurt.**

**This is written in Blaine's point of view. Glee belongs to Ryan Murphy, Ian Brennan, and Brad Falchuk.**

** . . . . . . . . . . . .**

**The Birdcage *This chapter is basically the episode "Special Education"* **

I watched as Kurt came down the hallway with a bag on his arm and a smile on his face. He high-fived a few boys before reaching me. "Looking good," I said with a grin, observing his blazer. "You're officially one of us now."

"Thanks," Kurt blushed. "I think I'll miss being able to wear something different every day, but I guess I'll learn to love this uniform."

"Oh, you sure will," I assured him, turning around to enter the choir room. "No, no, wait out here," I told him.

"So I'm 'officially one of' you now, but I can't follow you in the room?" he asked with a confused expression on his face.

"No, no, you'll be able to come in in a minute, but just wait." I winked. "Don't worry. It won't be long."

Kurt blushed again as I closed the doors. Wes and David smiled at me from behind the desk and Thad banged his gavel. "Alright Warblers, I'd like to start off today's meeting by reminding you that we had a great performance at Six Flaggs. The tourists loved us, and so did the workers. Let's just hope that the judges at Sectionals feel the same way. We will be discussing Sectionals in only a short while. But first, we have someone very special here with us today."

Wes grinned. "And now let's welcome to the newest addition to the Warblers… Kurt Hummel."

The Warblers applauded as I dramatically opened the doors for Kurt. Even after all he'd been through lately he looked comfortable walking into the room, like a movie star entering a room full of adoring fans. He had been excited about Glee Club here at Dalton, especially since our Glee Club was loved by the rest of the school and not ridiculed like it was at McKinley. I clapped my hands and sat down on the arm of a sleek couch beside Jeff. Wes banged his gavel and said, "In our oldest tradition for our newest Warbler, an actual warbler."

"Kurt, meet Pavarotti," I said, gesturing toward the yellow canary in the cage down by my feet. I remembered being given the small bird when I was the newest member of the Warblers. Pavarotti was a sweet little bird that loved to sing almost as much as I did. My spirits were lifted by his company, and hoped that he would have the same effect on Kurt.

"This bird is a member of an unbroken canaries who have been at Dalton since 1891," Wes explained as I brought the cage over to Kurt. "It's your job to take care of him so he can live to carry on the Warbler legacy." Kurt looked a bit nervous now. This was a huge responsibility. "Protect him. That bird is your voice."

"Hey, I'll bring him to work with me. Weekends I volunteer at a stray cat rescue," Kurt chuckled awkwardly. He was trying to make the Warblers laugh. No one did. That wasn't a Warbler's humor. "It's at the bottom of a coal mine," Kurt went on. I laughed quietly, feeling a little embarrassed for him, but also endeared because he reminded me of myself when I first came here. It took me a while to figure out what made the Warblers laugh and what offended them. Kurt was feeling less confident already. "That was a joke. I don't - I don't work at a coal mine."

"Let the council come to order," Wes chuckled uncomfortably, hoping that by changing the subject he could make things a little less awkward. Today we discuss the set list for Sectionals."

"Council?" Kurt repeated.

"We don't have a director," I informed him. "Every year, we elect three upperclassmen to lead the group. But don't worry. We all get a say." David, Wes, and Thad all looked nervous, like they were worried Kurt would have too much to say.

"Oh, fantastic," Kurt said in an upbeat tone, clasping his hands together. "I have a lot of ideas. Warblers, if I may?" He looked around the room for approval. Everyone just looked at him. "Now, I can't deny that the Warbler's vocals are absolutely dreamy, but I believe that our set list for Sectionals should have a little more showbiz panache. I think we should open with "Rio" by Duran Duran."

I smiled. He was something else. "The council is responsible for song selection," David said in his sweet, polite tone.

"But we appreciate your enthusiasm, Kurt," Wes assured him. "It'll come in handy one day when you're sitting behind this desk. Now, I propose we do our entire set at Sectionals in eight-part harmony."

As Wes continued to talk, I stared at Kurt. I could tell that he was embarrassed and discouraged. It was obvious that Glee Club was run differently at McKinley. The system was probably more laid-back. I had learned over time how to fit in with the other Warblers, but I wondered if Kurt ever would. He had this fire about him. It didn't matter that this bully guy had tried to bring him down; that fire was still there. Being with the Warblers forced him to keep that fire inside, like he was in a cage, like Pavarotti.

"Hey Kurt, wait up," I told him, following him down the stairs. He turned around to look at me and I told him, "I saw that Glee Club was hard for you today, seeing your ideas shot down like that."

"It's just a different energy in there," he said, like I thought. "Not better or worse; just something I'll have to get used to."

"We recognize that, and we have a tradition at this school of rewarding a student with a good attitude. So, we would like to invite you to audition for a solo."

"For Sectionals?" he asked, his eyes bright with hope.

"For Sectionals. Sing something good." I walked away, seeing the excitement on his face. This meant a lot to him. I always got the solos, so I wasn't confident that Wes, David, and Thad would give him a chance, but this still gave him something to be excited about. Something to distract him from thinking about that bully guy.

. . . . . . . . . . .

The day for auditions came and I stepped to the front of the room to begin my audition: _"There was a time when we were down and out. There was a place when we were starting over. We let the bough break, we let the heartache in. Who's sorry now? There was a world when we were standing still - and for a moment we were separated. And then you found her, you let the stranger in. Who's sorry now? Who's sorry now? What, what kind of fool tears it apart, leaving me pain and sorrow? Losin' you now, wondering why, where will I be tomorrow? There was a time when we were down and out. What, what kind of fool tears it apart, leaving me pain and sorrow? Losin' you now, how can I win, where will I be tomorrow? Was there a moment when I cut you down, played around. What have I done only apologize for being as they say? The last to know - it has to show when someone is in your eyes. What kind of fool tears it apart?"_

The Warblers applauded with smiles on their faces. Yeah, I had this in the bag.

"Next: Kurt Hummel," Thad announced.

Kurt rose dramatically to his feet and began: _"It won't be easy. You'll think it strange when I try to explain how I feel, that I still need your love after all that I've done. You won't believe me. All you will see is the girl you once knew, although she's dressed up to the nines, at sixes and sevens with you. I had to let it happen. I had to change; couldn't stay all my life down-at-heel, looking out of the window, staying out of the sun." _

He gazed out the window and then turned around. _"So I chose freedom. Running around, trying everything new, but nothing impressed me at all."_ He walked around the room, staring at each and every Warbler. He must have rehearsed this for hours. I could see how badly he wanted this_. "I never expected it to. Don't cry for me, Argentina. The truth is I never left you. All through my wild days, my mad existence, I kept my promise. Don't keep your distance. Don't cry for me, Argentina." _He raised his arms extra dramatically. I shook my head. He was trying way too hard. There was nothing wrong with trying hard, but I knew that David, Wes, and Thad would think he's showing off.

He continued: _"The truth is I never left you. All through my wild days, my mad existence, I kept my promise. Don't keep your distance. Have I said too much? There's nothing more I can think of to say to you. But all you have to do is look at me to know that every word is true."_ We all applauded when he was finished.

When everyone had finished auditioning, we were asked to sit and wait to hear if we'd moved on to the next round of auditions. David told me that I had moved on and to also tell Nick and Jeff that they'd moved on. It was pretty clear that I was going to wind up getting the solo, but I was happy for them that they'd gotten to the next round. I felt bad for Kurt and that he hadn't made it. I opened the door to see Kurt, Jeff, and Nick sitting down and staring up at me. "Hey, guys. Nick, Jeff, congrats. You're moving on."

The two of them stood up happily. "Oh, dude," Jeff gushed, hugging Nick.

"Thank you," Nick said, turning around and looking at me. Kurt stared sadly up at him, his blue eyes filled with disappointment.

"Congratulations," I grinned, patting Jeff's arm.

"Thank you," Jeff said, and he and Nick left the room.

"Any sage advice?" Kurt said quietly.

I walked toward him and shook my head. "Don't try so hard next time."

"I didn't realize that caring was frowned upon," he said with his hands on his knee, his legs crossed.

"I don't know how it worked at your old school," I began, "but did you notice that we all wear uniforms around here? It's about being part of the team."

"I guess I'm just used to having to scream to get noticed," he sighed.

"You're not gonna make it as a Warbler if all you care about is getting noticed," I told him.

"You're right. I'm sorry," he apologized.

"I know it's gonna take some getting used to," I said, "but you'll fit in soon enough, I promise." I hoped. He smiled weakly and I left the room.

. . . . . . . . . . .

Yeah, I got the solo. After weeks of rehearsal, Sectionals finally came around. When the Warblers were told to get into places, I went to find Kurt. He was sitting next to a small girl with dark hair and brown eyes. "Kurt, they're calling places," I told him. "Hey," I said, smiling at the girl.

"Thanks again, Rachel," Kurt told her. "She's in the New Directions," he told me.

"Hmm." I nodded. We got into places as the Hipsters performed.

When they were done, the announcer said _"And now, for our second performance of the program from Dalton Academy in Westerville, the Warblers."_

_"Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Your lipstick stains on the front lobe of my left-side brains. I knew I wouldn't forget you."_ I pointed at David, and then I went over to Kurt and sang to him, _"and so I went and let you blow my mind."_ He blushed, and I continued, _"Your sweet moonbeam; the smell of you in every single dream I dream. I knew when we collided, you're the one I have decided who's one of my kind. Hey, soul sister. Ain't that Mr. Mister on the radio, stereo? The way you move ain't fair, you know. Hey, soul sister. I don't wanna miss a single thing you do tonight. The way you can cut a rug; watching you is the only drug I need. So gangsta, I'm so thug. You're the only one I'm dreaming of. You see, I can be myself now finally. In fact, there's nothing I can't be. I want the world to see you be with me. Hey, soul sister. Ain't that Mr. Mister on the radio, stereo? The way you move ain't fair, you know. Hey, soul sister. I don't wanna miss a single thing you do tonight. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Tonight." _

"Blaine, you were amazing out there," the Warblers all told me, clapping me on the back after our standing ovation.

"Thanks, guys," I said cheerfully, and then I went over to Kurt to hug him. The hug wasn't a short one. For some reason, there was something especially comfortable about being in Kurt's arms, it seemed now. "You were awesome, Kurt."

"Thanks," he said softly. "Of course I wasn't very noticeable standing behind you."

"We couldn't have done it without you, Kurt," I assured him. He blushed. We all hurried into the audience to see the New Directions perform.

_"And now, for our final performance of the program from McKinley High, the New Directions!" _

_"Now, I've had the time of my life."_ I turned around to see an extremely handsome boy with blond hair at the back of the auditorium. _"No, I've never felt like this before. Yes, I swear it's the truth. And I owe it all to you."_

A pretty girl with blonde hair began, _"'Cause I've had the time of my life, and I owe it all to you."_

_ "I've been waiting for so long, and now I finally found someone to stand by me."_

_ "We saw the writing on the wall as we felt this magical fantasy."_

Together, they sang:_ "Now with passion in our eyes, there's no way we could disguise it secretly. So we take each other's hand, 'cause we seem to understand the urgency."_

_"Oh."_

_ "Just remember."_

_ "You're the one thing…"_

_ "I can't get enough of."_

_ "So I'll tell you something."_

_ "This could be love!" _

The rest of the Glee Club appeared on stage as the curtain lifted, and everyone sang together: _"I've had the time of my life. No, I've never felt this way before. Yes, I swear it's the truth. And I owe it all to you."_

_"Now, I'…"_

_ "I…"_

_ "Had the time of my life. No, I've never felt this way before."_

_ "Never felt this way."_

_ "Yes, I swear it's the truth. And I owe it all to you."_

Everyone sang again: _"I've had the time of my life. No, I never felt this way before (never felt this way). Yes, I swear it's the truth (it's the truth). And I owe it all to you. Oh, oh, oh, oh!" _

Kurt stood up immediately to applaud his friends and I and everyone else followed. That was one great performance. Incredible. The New Directions then began their next song. A Hispanic girl began singing, _"Well, sometimes I go out by myself, and I look across the water. And I think of all the things, what you're doing, and in my head I paint a picture. 'Cause since I've come on home, well, my body's been a mess. And I miss your ginger hair and the way you like to dress. Oh, won't you come on over? Stop making a fool out of me. Why don't you come on over, Valerie?"_

A tall, athletic Asian boy and equally tall and athletic blonde girl came to the front of the stage and performed the major dance moves in the number. _"Valerie! Valerie. Valerie! Well, sometimes I go out by myself, and I look across the water. And I think of all the things, what you're doing, and in my head I paint a picture. 'Cause since I've come on home, well, my body's been a mess. And I miss your ginger hair and the way you like to dress. Won't you come on over? Stop making a fool out of me. Why don't you come on over, Valerie? Valerie (why don't you come on over?)! Valerie, Valerie (why don't you come on over)? Valerie! Why don't you come on over, Valerie?"_

There was another standing ovation after they had finished. All three Glee Clubs were asked to come back on stage to hear who the winners were. The Emcee announced: _"And now, this year's head judge: Associate Director of the Ohio Department of Motor Vehicles, Mr. Pete Sosnowski!" _

_"Thank you. And thank you to all the groups who performed today. We all had a serious good time,"_ said the chubby older man with glasses. _"You know what else is a serious good time? Taking two minutes to save a life by filling out an organ donor card because it's never too late to donate. Drum roll, please. In third place, the Hipsters._ Thank you. Drive carefully," he told one of the old women. _"And now, the winner of this year's West-Central Sectionals is…. It's a tie. Congratulations! You're all going to the Regionals!"_

"Congratulations," I said, shaking the hand of the New Directions choir director Mr. Schue.

"Hey, nice work," he told me. "See you at Regionals."

. . . . . . . . . . .

A few days later when I was walking through the Dalton halls, I received a text message from Kurt.

**Kurt: Help! **

I opened the door and said, "Got your text. What's wrong?"

"It's Pavarotti. I think he's sick," he said anxiously, staring into the little birdcage. "I'm taking good care of him, but he won't sing, and he's losing his feathers." I sat down beside him and observed the tiny yellow bird.

"Oh, he's just molting," I realized. "He's growing a new coat of feathers, so his body has to shut down a little." Kurt closed his eyes and sighed with relief, so I told him, "But don't worry about it. He's got food, water. He seems to like his cage. Just give it a little while. He'll be singing again in no time." I smiled at him, and he smiled briefly back. "Don't forget. Warbler practice tonight at five o'clock. Regionals, here we come." I gently nudged him.

He chuckled and I pat his leg and stood up. Even though we'd won Sectionals, Kurt had not worn a genuine smile on his face. Transferring to Dalton was supposed to make him happy. I hoped that he'd be able to be happy again soon.

**. . . . . . . . . . . **

**Author's Note: "The Birdcage," is also the title of one of my favorite comedies, but it takes on a different meaning in this story, just thought I'd say. Also, like I said at the beginning of the chapter, this chapter is basically the season two episode "Special Education." The next chapter will be set during "A Very Glee Christmas," and will introduce Blaine's duet partner from Crawford Country Day. **


	7. Much Better Than That Girl

**Define 'Courage'****: Blaine's life before, during, and after Dalton and Kurt.**

**This is written in Blaine's point of view. Glee belongs to Ryan Murphy, Ian Brennan, and Brad Falchuk.**

** . . . . . . . . . . . .**

**Much Better Than That Girl **

The headmaster at Dalton was great. He went out of his way to talk to all the students and know what their likes and dislikes were. He knew that I was the lead singer for the Warblers and how much I loved to perform, so he suggested to me that I audition to sing a song in the Kings Island Christmas Spectacular, a big holiday show. I asked the Warblers what they thought about it, and they said I should go for it, especially after we'd won Sectionals. And so I went to the auditions wondering how great it would be to get a song and have my parents come to the show and watch me perform. I didn't see them very often, and I wasn't sure how willing they would be to see me. If it was a football game they would show up in a heartbeat, but I wasn't so sure how they felt about watching me perform in a Christmas show.

I was told to stand in a room with all the other hopefuls and wait to be called. There I was, standing in my green pants that didn't reach my ankles and my little bowtie, when a girl with silver blonde hair and pale blue eyes looking like a veela out of "Harry Potter And The Goblet Of Fire" approached me with a Stepford smile on her face and a mink coat, satin skirt, candy cane-patterned stockings, and Mary Janes. She looked like a Daddy's Girl, someone who usually got whatever she wanted. I recognized her right away: **Janie Whitman. **

"Hi Blaine!" she said in an enthusiastic, confident tone.

"Hi," I replied, smiling politely.

"You're here to audition too?" she asked.

"Yes, that's why I'm here," I said, nodding.

"Are you nervous?"

"A little bit, but not too much. I usually get whatever I audition for."

"Me too!" she squealed. "And you just won Sectionals. You shouldn't be worried about a thing. Congratulations, by the way."

"Thank you," I said with a smile.

_"We got this in the bag,"_ she whispered in my ear, gesturing at all the other hopefuls. _"These wannabes don't have anything on us. We'll both get solos or maybe even a duet or something. My daddy's one of the directors. I _know_ I'm in the show." _

"That sounds pretty definite," I chuckled. "You're gonna be in the show."

"So are you. I'm sure of it," she said confidently, and then she added, "Maybe if we're both in the show, we could go out on a date or something."

I wanted to tell her that she wasn't my type, but that wasn't a good idea when her father was one of the directors. "Uh, maybe," I told her.

"Blaine Anderson," a young woman with brown hair said, gesturing for me to follow her onto the stage. I smiled, took a deep breath, and began singing when the directors told me that I could begin:

_"Hang all the mistletoe. I'm gonna get to know you better this Christmas. And as we trim the tree; how much fun it's gonna be together, this Christmas. Fireside is blazing bright. We're caroling through the night. And this Christmas will be a very special Christmas for me. Presents and cards are here. My world is full of cheer and you this Christmas. And as I look around, your eyes outshine the town, they do this Christmas. Fireside is blazing bright. We're caroling through the night. And this Christmas will be a very special Christmas for me. And this Christmas will be a very special Christmas for me!" _

The directors applauded for me after I'd finished. "Thank you," I told them, smiling and exiting the stage. I left the auditorium and headed back to Dalton. That evening one of the directors - I think Mr. Whitman - called me and notified me that I had been cast in the show and would be doing the duet "Baby, It's Cold Outside" with - who else? - _Janie._ As much as I couldn't stand to be around her and would suffer singing the duet with her, I would have to put my game face on and enjoy it. After all, this was a great gig, and singing with a snobby, stuck-up girl couldn't ruin that for me.

Janie called me a few times over the next few weeks and asked if I wanted to rehearse with her. I told her that it was better for me to rehearse on my own, but that wasn't really true. I just didn't want to rehearse with her. So I decided to rehearse with a good friend of mine; a friend of mine who was also gay and wouldn't mind singing a flirty song with me. I found him one evening doing homework in the common room.

I set down the boom box and he looked up at me. "Hey," I said, smiling.

"You scared me," Kurt said.

"Good," I teased. "Because I'm actually Marley's ghost, and I'm here to tell you to stop studying so hard."

"What's with the boom box?" he asked after I sat down next to him.

"I need you to sing with me. Well, rehearse with me," I said, and his eyebrows raised with interest. "I got a gig singing 'Baby, It's Cold Outside' in the Kings Island Christmas Spectacular."

"Ah, a personal favorite," Kurt said. "Too bad they'd never let us sing it together." I gave him a funny look. "I mean, as two artists," he added quickly.

"Hmm." I nodded. "So, you gonna help me out here?"

"Anything to get me to stop reading about Charlemagne," he said desperately.

"Very good then." I stood up, pressed the button, and the track began to play. I spun around in a circle and danced toward Kurt.

_"I really can't stay,"_ he sang.

_"But, baby, it's cold outside,"_ I sang.

_"I've got to go away."_

_ "But, baby, it's cold outside."_

_ "This evening has been…"_

_ "Been hoping that you'd drop in."_

_ "So very nice."_

_ "I'll hold your hands. They're just like ice."_

He stood up, clasped his hands behind his back, and walked around. _"My mother will start to worry."_

_ "Beautiful, what's your hurry?"_

_ "My father will be pacing the floor."_

_ "Listen to the fireplace roar."_

He looked over his shoulder at me. _"So really I'd better scurry."_

_ "Beautiful, please don't hurry."_

He came backwards toward me, shrugging his shoulders. _"Well, maybe just a half a drink more."_

_"Put some records on while I pour."_

_ "The neighbors might faint."_

_ "Baby, it's bad out there."_

_ "Say, what's in this drink?"_

_ "No cabs to be had out there."_

_ "I wish I knew how…"_

_"Your eyes are like starlight now."_

_ "To break this spell."_

_ "I'll take your hat. Your hair looks swell." _

_"I ought to say no, no, no, sir." _He gave me a look that was almost… _dirty_. Dirty for _Kurt,_ at least. This was a good rehearsal. We were both really getting into character.

I scooted toward him. _"Mind if I move in closer?"_

_ "At least I'm gonna say that I tried."_

_ "What's the sense in hurtin' my pride?" _

_ "I really can't stay."_

_ "Baby, don't hold out. Baby, it's cold outside."_

_ "Oh, but it's cold outside." _I briefly played the piano, and he continued, _"I've gotta get home."_

_ "But, baby, you'd freeze out there."_

_ "Say, lend me your coat."_

_ "It's up to your knees out there." _

_ "You've really been grand."_

_ "I thrill when you touch my hand."_

_ "But don't you see?"_

_ "How can you do this thing to me?" _

_ "There's bound to be talk tomorrow."_

_"Think of my lifelong sorrow."_

_ "At least there will be plenty implied."_

_ "If you got pneumonia and died." _

_ "I really can't stay."_

_ "Get over that holdout."_

I gestured for him to come over and sit down next to me, so he did.

_"Oh, baby, it's cold outside."_

_"Oh, but it's cold outside."_

We smiled at each other for a moment and then looked away. I laughed.

"I think you're ready," Kurt told me.

"Well, for the record," I said, standing up. "You are much better than that girl's gonna be." He bit his lip shyly and stared as I started toward the door. The New Directions choir director Mr. Schue was there, so I said "Hey" to him and left the commons. I went up to my dorm and changed into my velvet pajamas. It was especially cold since it was December. I wrote it my journal for a while and waited for Kurt.

"Hey, you," I said with a grin as he entered the dorm room.

The other boys weren't here yet. It was just the two of us. He gave that shy smile where his eyes would scrunch up and his teeth would disappear. "Hey, Blaine."

"Well, it was nice that your old choir director came to visit you," I said.

"Actually, he came to ask for some holiday help," Kurt explained. "The teachers at McKinley are doing Secret Santa, and he pulled Coach Sue Sylvester's name. He wasn't sure what to get for her, so I told him to buy a track suit and that I'll sew on a fur-lined hood for the winter months. It's perfect for her."

I laughed. "You're just Santa's Little Helper, aren't you?"

"I have been told that I look like the Elf On The Shelf," Kurt chuckled.

I cracked up. "You really do, actually." He rolled his eyes. "Kurt, what are you gonna do when Christmas break comes along?"

"I'm gonna go home and spend the holidays with my dad, my step mom, and my step brother," Kurt replied. "And hopefully I'll go to this Kings Island Christmas Spectacular and maybe watch you perform. What about you? Are you going home?"

"I'm gonna see if the headmaster will let me stay here at school, like Harry Potter did each Christmas," I explained. "I live with the Dursleys, so I would rather be here than at home."

"Family issues?" Kurt asked. "I wouldn't know. I've always gotten along with my dad…" his voice trailed off. He realized that he shouldn't have said anything.

I tried to smile. "I'm happy for you, Kurt."

"Thanks," he replied. "And you have this show to look forward to. How exciting! I would love to be in a Christmas spectacular."

"Thank you, Kurt," I said, and then I lay down and fell asleep.

. . . . . . . . . . .

The night of the show came along and I was dressed in a dark green velvet suit with my hair gelled. Janie wore a velvet red dress and white tights. "Are you excited, Blaine?" she asked, and I smiled and nodded. "Are you nervous?"

"Just a little," I said. "Still, not really. I've performed so many times."

"Oh, me too," she chuckled. "We're, like, perfect for each other."

I didn't say anything in response, and we waited backstage until it was our turn to perform. When we were onstage performing, I thought about Kurt and our rehearsal. It worked because the performance was a success, and we received a standing ovation.

"Oh my gosh, Blaine, we were so good!" Janie squealed, jumping up and down for joy and giving me a bone-crunching hug. I didn't know that such a skinny girl could give such a bear hug.

"Yeah, we did it, great job, Janie," I chuckled, patting her on the back.

We changed into the costumes that we would be wearing the next time that we were on the stage. I was a toy soldier and she was a rag doll. There was a huge number in the second act of the show where one-third of the cast (the younger members, mostly) dressed up as toys and danced under the huge tree to music from Tchaikovsky's "Nutcracker Suite." After that part of the show was done, I went back backstage.

When the show was over, everyone went back onstage to take their bows.

After we were finished bowing, I went out into the audience to find my Warbler friends and Kurt. "Great job, Blaine," Nick told me, clapping me on the back.

"Thanks, man," I replied.

"I was so jealous when you were singing with that girl," Jeff explained. "She was really hot. I'll have her since you don't want her, dude."

I laughed and punched him lightly in the shoulder.

"Blaine, great job!" Kurt squeaked, running over to me and giving me a big hug.

"Thanks… Kurt," I said, patting him on the back. He was squeezing me around my neck so tightly that it was difficult to breathe. When he let me go and stared at me with a bright smile, I said, "I would have never been able to do it without you. That rehearsal we shared really helped me."

He blushed in his fashionable winter coat. "I'm so glad I was able to help."

"Hey Kurt," said a man with a baseball cap on his head and a simple jacket on. He stood out as being casual while everyone else in the audience was dressed elegantly. I guessed that he must have been Kurt's father. They looked related, despite the fact that their dress styles were completely different. "Carole, Finn, and I are gonna go to the lobby and check out the concession stand. Wanna come?"

"Bye," Kurt told me. "If I don't go with him, who else will make sure he doesn't eat too unhealthily?"

"See you, Kurt. Merry Christmas," I smiled, patting his back before he ran off to join his dad, step mom, and step brother.

Janie came up to me, laughing as though something was hysterically funny. Jeff waved pitifully at her, and Nick grabbed him and pulled him away so that he wouldn't embarrass himself even more. "Who was that little sugar plum princess that just pirouetted over here to talk to you?" Janie asked, placing a hand up on my shoulder.

"What are you talking about?" I asked, making a face.

"That feminine boy," she clarified. "He looks like he bats for the other team, if you know what I mean."

"What do you mean?" I demanded with a frown on my face,

She looked a bit taken aback. "Well, you know what I -"

"He's my friend," I informed her. "And he's not the only one that 'bats for the other team,' for your information."

"You mean…" She looked shocked. "You're gay?"

"Yes, Janie. I'm gay," I admitted. "I'm surprised the other Warblers haven't told you."

"Well, they never said you were straight," she remembered.

"Feel free to make your remarks," I said, rolling my eyes.

"Fine," she said. "I'll start by saying that that's smoking hot."

"What?" I made a face.

"If you're gay that means you wanna make out with hot guys," she said. "And you're hot, so that doubles the hotness, right? I'm even _more _attracted to you now."

I shook my head. How immature was she? "Thanks Janie, I'm so flattered."

"Blaine, sweetie!" my mom exclaimed, grabbing me and kissing my cheek.

"Mom, what are you doing here?" I asked in shock.

"Your father and I came to hear you sing," Mom explained, and my dad smiled at me and gave me a manly hug.

"That has nothing to do with the fact that I was actually singing with a girl, does it?" I was curious.

"No, of course not," my dad assured me. "We came to see you. You were incredible up there, son. We also came to ask you to come home for the holidays. It just isn't Christmas without you."

"Really?" My eyes widened. He nodded, and I threw my arms around his shoulders. "Oh my gosh! Thank you, Dad! Thank you, Mom! Thank you so much!"

My dad chuckled and my mom said, "You're welcome, dear. Let's go home."

"Merry Christmas, Dad," I said, throwing an arm around his shoulders.

He smiled. "Merry Christmas, son."

**. . . . . . . . . . .**

** Author's Note: I probably mentioned in one of the earlier chapters that Janie Whitman is an OC from one of my past Glee fics "Senior Year." She is loosely based on some girls that are in Drama and Chorus with me, and maybe a little bit on Sharpay from "High School Musical. This chapter is like a late Christmas present. I miss Christmas already! My sister gave me an Elf On The Shelf plushee this year because I said it looked like Chris Colfer, and Chris even mentioned it himself on twitter, lol. I named it Kurt. **


	8. Don't Try So Hard

**Define 'Courage'****: Blaine's life before, during, and after Dalton and Kurt.**

**This is written in Blaine's point of view. Glee belongs to Ryan Murphy, Ian Brennan, and Brad Falchuk.**

** . . . . . . . . . . . .**

**Don't Try So Hard**

The Warblers and I did some rehearsing for Regionals in the senior commons. They all vocalized as I entered the room adjusting my tie. _"At first we started out real cool, taking me places I ain't never been. But now you're getting comfortable in doing those things you did no more. You're slowly making me pay for things your money should be handling. And now you ask to use my car (Car)."_

I stood up on the couch arm and sang down to Kurt, who looked up at me_. "Driving all day and don't fill up the tank. And you have the audacity to even come and step to me; ask to hold some money from me until you get your check next week."_

I went over to the chessboard and knocked a few of the pieces over. _"You triflin' good-for-nothing type of brother. Silly me! Why haven't I found another? A baller; when times get hard, I need someone to help me out, instead of a scrub like you who don't know what a man's about. Can you pay my bills? Can you pay my telephone bills? Do you pay my 'automo-bills?' If you did, then maybe we could chill. I don't think you do, so you and me are through. You triflin' good-for-nothing type of brother. Silly me! Why haven't I found another? A baller; when times get hard, I need someone to help me out, instead of a scrub like you who don't know what a man's about. Can you pay my bills? Can you pay my telephone bills? Do you pay my 'automo-bills?' If you did, then maybe we could chill. I don't think you do, no, (so) so you and me are through." _

The Warblers did some impressive dance moves and threw papers up in the air as we continued: _"You triflin' good-for-nothing type of brother. Silly me! Why haven't I found another? You triflin' good-for-nothing type of brother. Oh, silly me! Why haven't I found another? A baller; when times get hard, I need someone to help me out, instead of a scrub like you who don't know what a man's about. Can you pay my bills? Can you pay my telephone bills? Do you pay my 'automo-bills?' Pay my telephone, telephone bills! I don't think you do, so you and me are through. Oh no! (Can you pay my bills? Can you pay my telephone bills? Do you pay my 'automo-bills?') If you did, then maybe we could chill. Said I don't think you do, no, no, so you and me are through." _

"Guys, I'd say we're ready for Regionals," I said when we were done. They cheered and clapped me on the back.

"Hey Blaine," Kurt said enthusiastically, skipping over to me. "Wanna go to the Lima Bean? I promised a few friends I would meet them there, and I thought it might be fun if you come too. Mercedes and Rachel."

"Yeah, sure, I'd love to come," I assured him. "Let's go." We ran off campus and got into Kurt's car. He drove to the Lima Bean, where we caught up with Mercedes and Rachel, the small brunette I saw Kurt talking to at Sectionals, now dressed in a red coat.

Kurt took the coffees and said, "Medium drip?"

"That would be me. Thank you very much," I said, taking it from him.

"Thank you," said Rachel, taking hers from Kurt.

"Now, I don't want to sound cocky or anything," I began with a confident smirk, "but you guys better be pulling out all the stops for Regionals, because the number we just rehearsed is so off-the-hook, it's dangerous."

"Seriously," Kurt agreed as we all sat down. "People should wear protective head gear when they're watching it….. Guys, we're kidding," he added when he saw Rachel and Mercedes exchange a tired look.

"Yeah, well, it's just hard to laugh right now with everything going on at McKinley," Rachel explained.

"I mean, look at us," said Mercedes. "The stars of two rival show choirs sitting down to coffee? Our school is so messed up we can't even keep our own football team together."

"It's so sad, you guys," said Rachel. "Coach Beiste and Mr. Schue were so close to getting everyone at this school together."

"Why hasn't Finn told me anything about this?" Kurt asked. "I mean, we live together. I bring him a glass of warm milk every night, just in hopes that we'll have a little lady chat." Since the second semester would be starting soon, Kurt would start having to stay in the dorm at Dalton again.

"Warm milk? Really?" I asked him.

"It's delicious," he snapped.

"Finn's too proud to complain. He feels like he has to be strong for everyone," Rachel explained, "but I know it's just killing him inside. I hope he realizes that, you know, if he and I were still together, I could make him feel a lot better, you know."

"Let it go, Rachel," Kurt told her.

Rachel sat back. "I - I just wish that there was a way we could help. That's all."

"Yeah, and the worst part is how bummed the guys are," Mercedes pointed out. "They already suffer enough abuse just being in Glee. I really think winning the game could have eased some of the pressure - at least for a little while."

"Wait," I said. "So the whole team quit?"

"Everybody not in Glee," Mercedes replied. "You can't play football with five guys, and one of them is in a wheelchair."

"Yeah," said Rachel. "Coach Beiste put up a sign-up sheet for people to join. I think they'll take _anyone_ at this point."

"Well, the good news is you actually only need four more guys," I informed them. "High school regulations actually let you play a couple guys short if you want to. But if they figure out a way to make it work, you can bet that we'll definitely be there to cheer them on."

"Oh, totally," Kurt piped in. "Blaine and I love football. Well, Blaine loves football. I love scarves."

Rachel and Mercedes exchanged a look and nodded. Rachel turned to Kurt and I and grinned. "Thank you, guys! You've given us an idea!"

"Yeah, totally!" Mercedes agreed, and they stood up.

I laughed. "Wow, well, what is it?"

"You'll find out at the football game," Rachel sang, and they left the Lima Bean.

I looked at Kurt, and he shrugged at me in response.

. . . . . . . . . . .

The night of the football game came along and I went to the McKinley field with Kurt and his family. We sat down on the bleachers and waited for the game to start.

"It's so funny that you love football," Kurt chuckled to me.

"I played sports in elementary and middle school," I explained. "I enjoyed sports, but I enjoyed singing more."

Kurt smirked and said, "I was on this football team a year ago."

I laughed, despite myself. _"You? _Y-you were on a football team?"

"I know, I know." Kurt rolled his eyes. "You think I'm joking, but I was on the football team. I was kicker and I won us the whole game."

"Wow," I chuckled, my eyes widening. "Who would'a thought, huh? Well, why did you stop playing football then?"

Kurt scoffed. "Football's not really my style…" He smiled. "Even though I'm really good at it."

"Wow," I chuckled again, and everyone cheered. The game was about to start.

I looked over at Finn Hudson, who was stretching and talking to a guy whom I recognized to be Dave Karofsky. Karofsky and his friends weren't dressed in their football uniforms, but then four players dressed in uniforms did walk onto the field. Kurt's eyes widened. When I saw his reaction, I laughed. "What is it?"

"Those are the girls," he said in disbelief, and he was right. The players dressed in uniform were Rachel, Mercedes, and two other girls with dark hair. The boys on the Glee Club greeted the girl athletes enthusiastically, and the game began.

"Alright, let's go!" the football coach encouraged her players.

"Blue forty-two! Blue forty-two! Down! Set! Hut!" Finn shouted, and the girls squealed and collapsed onto the ground.

"I guess since they don't know how to play, they're just gonna lie there," Kurt said, making a face. The other team got the ball, and the football coach cursed. The crowd booed and the referee blew his whistle. The score was Home: 0, Guest: 17.

The team huddled and then started playing again. I remember that one of the girls (Kurt told me her name was Tina) got up and grabbed the ball. She ran, but one of the players on the other team grabbed her and tackled her to the ground. The cheering stopped and the whistle blew. Everyone ran over to see if Tina was alright. She didn't move for a moment. She might have been unconscious. It became so quiet you could hear a pin drop. Finally she got up, and everyone cheered again. I sighed with relief.

They played a little while longer and then took a break before the halftime show. When it was almost time for the halftime show to start, the McKinley football players and cheerleaders got onto the field dressed as zombies. "Whoa," I chuckled.

Kurt smiled. "This is gonna be good," he said, sitting back to enjoy the show.

_"Off with your head! D-dance, dance, dance till you're dead! O-off, off, off with your head! D-dance, dance, dance till your dead! O-off, off, off with your head!"_

The guy in the wheelchair started singing: _"It's close to midnight, and something evil's lurking in the dark. Under the moonlight, you see a sight that almost stops your heart. You try to scream, but terror takes the sound before you make it." _

The Latina who sang the solo at Sectionals sang: _"Heads will roll! Heads will roll!" _

_"You start to freeze!"_ the guy in the wheelchair continued_. "As horror looks you right between the eyes, you're paralyzed! 'Cause this is thriller! Thriller night! And no one's gonna save you from the beast about to strike! You know it's thriller! Thriller night! You're fighting for your life inside a killer thriller tonight!" _

_"Off with your head! D-dance, dance, dance till you're dead! O-off, off, off with your head! D-dance, dance, dance till your dead! O-off, off, off with your head!"_

Then Karofsky ran onto the field and started dancing with the New Directions. It was a very surprising sight, but I decided not to mention it to Kurt. We were having too much fun dancing ourselves.

Finn took over with Vincent Price's monologue_: "Darkness falls across the land. The midnight hour is close at hand. Creatures crawl in search of blood, to terrorize ya'all's neighborhood. And though you fight to stay alive, your body starts to shiver, for no mere mortal can resist the evil of the thriller!"_

_"'Cause this is thriller! Thriller night! Girl, I can thrill you more than any ghost could ever dare try! You know it's thriller, ooh! Thriller night! Girl, let me hold you tight, and share a killer thriller! Ow! Off with your head! D-dance, dance, dance till you're dead! O-off, off, off with your head! D-dance, dance, dance till you're dead! O-off, off, off with your head!"_

The football players left to take their makeup off, but came back onto the field with it still on. They began making scary noises, I think to frighten the other team and win the game, and it took the other team aback. Soon enough everyone in the bleachers was doing the same, and the other team ran scared. McKinley won the game.

. . . . . . . . . . .

Kurt lifted a plush red heart with two stuffed puppies touching noses on it and stared at it with disapproval. "Okay, I'm all for flair, but these Valentines Day decorations are just tacky," he told me. "I mean, what the hell is this supposed to be?"

"It's clearly puppy love," I replied. "It's cute, come on." I pressed a button and there was a kissing sound and a robotic voice that said 'I love you!' I laughed.

"Oh!" Kurt said in surprise, taking the heart and the puppies back from me.

"Adorable," I said. It really was cute. I wouldn't mind receiving one of those myself on Valentines Day.

"Okay, this is creepy," Kurt disagreed, putting it back where he found it. "It's a simple excuse to sell candy and greeting cards on a holiday."

"Not true," I disagreed. "People have been celebrating Valentines Day for centuries. And call me a hopeless romantic, but it's my favorite holiday."

"Really?" Kurt asked, giving me a look.

"I think there's something really great about a day where you're encouraged to just lay it all on the line and say to somebody… 'I'm in love with you'….. you know?" I was able to say it convincingly because I was thinking of Jeremiah. "And this year I wanna do something really radical, so I need your opinion on this." I took a deep breath. "But there's this guy that I sort of… like… and I've only known him for a little while… but I wanna tell him that I think my feelings are starting to change into something… deeper." I sighed. "So I have to ask, do you think it's too much to sing to somebody on Valentines Day?"

Kurt replied, "Not at all." He stood there, staring at me. He didn't blink.

"What can I get you?" asked the lady behind the counter.

"A medium drip and a grande nonfat mocha for this guy, and maybe I could get 'em to split one of those Cupid cookies," I replied, and then reached for my wallet.

"You know my coffee order?" Kurt asked quietly.

I turned around and gave him a look. "Of _course_ I do."

"That'll be eight-fifty," said the lady behind the counter.

When Kurt reached for his money, I said, "Don't even bother, dummy. It's on me." I handed the money to the lady, smiled, and said, "Keep the change." Then I looked at Kurt, signaling for him to follow and sit down with me. When Kurt finally did enjoy me, he suddenly seemed a lot cheerier than he did before I bought him coffee.

"So, Blaine…" he said, beaming from ear to ear. "Tell me more about your love for Valentines Day."

And so I did.

. . . . . . . . . . .

I had requested a meeting with the Warblers. Thank God for Kurt. What would I ever do without him? He'd assured me that it would be okay to sing to Jeremiah on Valentines Day, so now all my dreams were going to come true. We couldn't have a Warbler meeting without him. I found him writing in a notebook in a chair.

"Hey. What'cha doin'?" I asked curiously.

He slammed the notebook shut and stared at me, his eyes wide. "Nothing. Just, uh, daydreaming. Plotting weekend outfits."

"Well, come on. You're gonna want to see this," I encouraged him. "I've called an emergency meeting of the Warblers Council."

"Sounds serious," he said, standing up.

"Let's hope not," I said, feeling a bit nervous. I touched his shoulder as we walked and said, "I just need to ask them a tiny, little favor."

"This emergency meeting is called to order," Wes said, banging his gavel on the desk. Pavarotti twittered in his cage. "Junior member Blaine Anderson, the floor is yours." Kurt clapped his hands, but stopped when no one else did.

"Esteemed Council, I'll be brief," I promised. "Simply put… I'm in love."

"Ooh!" the Warblers said, and Kurt looked like he thought it was the sweetest, most romantic thing he'd ever heard anyone say.

"Congrats."

"I'm not really good at talking about my feelings," I explained. "I'm much better at singing them. But still, I could use a little help, which is why I'm asking to enlist The Warblers to help serenade this individual in song….. off-campus."

The Warblers were clearly alarmed by my request.

"Yeah, right. No way. Uh-uh."

"Are you serious?"

"I - I know what I'm asking is slightly unusual," I assured them after Pavarotti hid from the noise and Wes banged the gavel again.

"The Warblers haven't performed in an informal setting since 1927," Wes reminded me, "when the _Spirit of St. Louis_ overshot the tarmac and plowed through seven Warblers during an impromptu rendition of 'Welcome to Ohio, Lucky Lindy.'"

"Why would we even _consider_ what you're asking?" David snapped in an uncharacteristically offensive tone of voice.

"I firmly believe that our reticence to perform in public nearly cost us a trip to Regionals," I said. "We're becoming privileged, porcelain birds."

"You mock us, sir!" Thad said as everyone started shouting again.

"Thad, David, I _will_ have order," Wes said after banging the gavel again.

Kurt raised his hand enthusiastically and asked, "May I please say something?" David sighed and sat down. In my mind, I was in another place. I just wanted this to be over. Why did I think I would get what I wanted? Whatever Kurt was going to say, the Warblers weren't going to listen. They didn't listen to Kurt. He stood up and said, "With respect, I believe Blaine has a point. The Warblers are so concerned with image and tradition that sometimes I feel like we miss out on opportunities to step outside our comfort zones. When I was on New Directions, we performed in front of hostile crowds pretty much everywhere we went. I mean, mattress stores, shopping malls. I had a cat thrown at me in a nursing home once."

There was soft chuckling, and Kurt continued, "But it - it gave us confidence. It kept us loose." I smiled and nodded.

"And where would this performance take place?" Wes was curious.

Kurt sat down and I said, "The Gap at the North Hills Mall. I'd like to call it 'The Warblers' Gap Attack.'"

"Why the Gap?" Kurt asked.

"The guy I like is a junior manager," I explained.

Kurt's smile faded and Wes banged the gavel again. "All those in favor?"

Everyone raised their hands, except Kurt for some reason, and David smiled.

"Well, Blaine, looks like you've gotten your wish," he said.

"Thanks, Kurt," I said happily, giving him a hug. "I really owe you one."

Kurt smiled uneasily. "Oh, stop it, you…"

And so the Warblers rehearsed every day until the fourteenth came along.

. . . . . . . . . . .

I became very nervous when we actually got to the Gap to perform. "That's him," I told Kurt. "The blond one folding sweaters." The gorgeous, perfect blond one.

"Mmm," Kurt said in response. "I can see the appeal. That's quite a head of hair."

"His name is Jeremiah," I said, feeling enchanted by every move he made. "If he and I got married, the Gap would give me a fifty-percent discount." Who was I kidding? I couldn't do this! "This is insane. I don't know what I'm doing. We haven't even really gone out on a date. We - we shouldn't do this." I started off, but Kurt grabbed my shoulders and stopped me.

"Okay, come on, come on. Man up. You're amazing," he assured me, walking me over to where I was going to stand when I started performing. "He's gonna love you."

I signaled for the Warblers to begin: _"Vum vum vum vum. Vum vum vum vum." _

_"Oh,"_ I began, following behind Jeremiah. He didn't even turn around or acknowledge me. I wondered if he even remembered who I was. _"Baby girl, where you at? Got no strings, got men attached."_ He turned around briefly, but then turned away again and tried to ignore me. _"Can't stop that feelin' for long, no. Mmm." He started talking to someone on his earphone, hopefully not security. "You makin' dogs wanna beg, breaking them off your fancy legs. But they make you feel right at home, now. Oh."_

Everyone in the store seemed to like us, except Jeremiah, of course. _"See, all these illusions just take us too long, and I want it bad." _He turned around once in a while, but then went back to ignoring me. _"Because you walk pretty, because you talk pretty, because you make me sick, and I'm not leavin' till you're leavin'. Oh, I swear there's something when she's pumpin', asking for a raise." _

I put on a flashy pair of pink sunglasses and continued, _"Well, does she want me to carry her home now? So does she want me to buy her things? On my house, on my job."_ He did not look happy, but I couldn't stop now. I was in the zone. _"On my loot, shoes, my shirt, my crew, my mind, my father's last name! When I get you alone! When I get you alone, babe! When I get you alone! When I get you alone! Oh! Yeah, yeah! Baby girl, you the shh! That makes you my equivalent. Well, you can keep your toys in the drawer tonight, alright. All my dogs talkin' fast. Ain't you got some photographs? 'Cause you shook that room like a storm, now. Yes, you did. Yes, you did. All these intrusions just take us too long, and I want you so bad. Because you walk steady, because you talk steady, because you make me sick, and I'm not leavin' till you're leavin'. So I pray to something she ain't bluffin', rubbin' up on me. Well, does she want me to make a vow? Check it! Does she want me to make it now? On my house, on my job. On my loot, shoes, my shirt, my crew, my mind, my father's last name! When I get you alone! When I get you alone, babe! When I get you alone! When I get you alone! When I get you alone!" _

I grabbed something - anything - to buy, and grinned at him. He scowled back.

"Blaine, let's get out of here," Kurt said urgently, grabbing me by the arm and pulling me out of the store. I put my beanie on and we sat down in the cold.

"Was it too much?" I asked nervously. He raised an eyebrow at me and didn't answer. "Yeah, it was too much," I groaned. Jeremiah came outside, so I stood up. "Jeremiah. Hey."

He lifted his hood and covered his luxurious golden locks with it in the most beautiful, magnificent, regal way. "What the hell were you doing?" he asked me.

"What?" I said, feeling defeated, hurt. I kept a smile on my face, though.

"I just got fired," he explained. "You can't just bust a groove in the middle of somebody else's workplace."

"But they loved it," I pointed out.

"Well, my boss didn't," he informed me. "Neither did I. No one here knows I'm gay."

"Can I be honest?" Kurt interrupted. "Just with the hair, I think they do."

"Blaine, let's just be clear here," Jeremiah ignored him. "You and I got coffee twice. We're not dating. If we were, I'd get arrested, 'cause you're underage."

He pat my shoulder, smiled awkwardly, and walked away. I didn't know what to say. I'd never been so humiliated in all my life. I just wanted to crawl into a ditch somewhere and never come out of it. I stared at Kurt, and he stared right back at me.

. . . . . . . . . . .

The next time we were at the Lima Bean I glared at a few mugs with pink, white, and red hearts on them and groaned, "Ugh. Don't they have anything here that isn't covered with stupid little hearts? Gross."

"Well, you've certainly changed your tune," Kurt couldn't help but notice.

"I don't think I've ever made that big of a fool of myself, which is really saying something because I've performed at theme parks." I worked a summer job at Six Flaggs dressing up as Batman's sidekick Robin so that I wouldn't have to spend extra time with my parents at home. I sighed. "I just - I can't believe I made it all up in my head." I rolled my eyes and we stepped forward.

"Okay, can I ask you something?" Kurt said. "Because we've always been completely honest with each other. You and I - we hang out. We sing flirty duets together; you know my coffee order. Was I supposed to think that that was nothing?"

"What do you mean?" I asked in confusion.

"I thought the guy that you wanted to ask out on Valentines Day… was me."

"Wow." I had no idea. "I really am clueless. Look, Kurt. I don't know what I'm doing. I pretend like I do, and I know how to act it out in song, but the truth is…. I've never really been anyone's boyfriend."

Kurt smiled. "Me neither."

"Let me be really clear about something," I began. "I really, really care about you, but as you and about twenty mortified shoppers saw, I'm not very good at romance. I don't wanna screw this up." If Kurt and I got together, it would completely ruin our relationship. I would suck as a boyfriend, and he wouldn't want to be my friend anymore. He might even run back to McKinley.

"So it's just like _When Harry Met Sally,_ but I get to play Meg Ryan," he said.

"Deal," I replied. We stared at each other for a moment and then turned away. "Don't they, uh, get together in the end?" It had been a while since I watched that movie.

"Could I get a nonfat mocha and a medium drip for my friend Billy Crystal?" Kurt asked the lady behind the counter, not bothering to answer my question.

"Ah, you know my coffee order." I nodded.

"You know what?" he said. "I think I got something for us to do on Valentines Day."

"Really?" I said curiously. "What?"

He smiled slyly. "You'll find out."

When we got back to school, he went to find the Warblers but told me to wait in the hall. I groaned and sat on a chair impatiently. When he finally emerged from the room, he wore a huge grin on his face. "We're going to perform at Breadstix!" he told me. "'Silly Love Songs' by Paul McCartney!"

. . . . . . . . . . .

_"Testing: one, two, three. Testing: one, two, three,"_ Kurt said into a pink microphone as I looked out at Rachel, Mercedes, and Tina and her boyfriend, who was named Mike Chang. He was one of the football players and also the main male dancer who had performed at Sectionals_. "Alright, so happy Valentines Day, everybody. For those of you Breadstix patrons who don't know who I am, I am Kurt Hummel, and welcome to my first ever Lonely Hearts dinner. Whether you are single with hope or madly in love and are here because I forced you to come out and support me, sit back and enjoy. And to all the singles out there, this is our year."_

_"How can I tell you about my loved one?"_

_ "I can't explain; the feeling's too plain to me. Say, can't you see?"_

_ "How can I tell you about my loved one?"_

_ "Ah, he gave me more. He gave it all to me. Say, can't you see?"_

I stepped forward and sang_, "You'd think that people would have had enough of silly love songs. But I look around and I see it isn't so. Oh, no. some people wanna fill the world with silly love songs. And what's wrong with that, I'd like to know? 'Cause here I go again! I love you." I smiled at Kurt. "I love you. Love doesn't come in a minute,"_ I sang to two members of the New Directions; one a girl with glasses and the other a guy with a Mohawk. Then I sang to the Latina cheerleader: "_Sometimes it doesn't come at all. I only know that when I'm in it, love isn't silly. No, it isn't silly. Love isn't silly at all, not at all! I love you. I love you." _I made a heart with my fingers and pointed at Rachel and Mercedes._ "I love you."_

_"How can I tell you about my loved one?"_

_ "I can't explain; the feeling's too plain to me. Say, can't you see?"_

_ "Ah, she gave me more. She gave it all to me." _

_ "How can I tell you about my loved one?"_

_ "Say, can't you see?" _

When we were done performing, the New Directions applauded us and we stepped off of the stage to have dinner with them. Rachel and Mercedes scooted over and made room for me. "Hi," I said, grinning at Tina and Mike. "I've never actually had the chance to meet you two. How are you? I'm Blaine Anderson."

"Mike."

"Tina. I feel like we can relate to you. Are you… Asian?"

"Half-Filipino, half-European," I chuckled.

"See, Mike? I knew it!" Tina whispered excitedly.

"I've never had a proper meeting with you either, Eyebrows," said the Latina girl with a false smile plastered on her face. "Hi, my name is Santana Lopez. I think your performances are irritatingly charming."

"Thanks," I said with a smile.

"I sure did miss you, Santana," Kurt muttered. "Oh!" He just remembered something. "Blaine, I have a present for you! I left it in my car!"

I laughed. "Come on Kurt, you didn't have to get me a present."

"Oh, but I did," Kurt argued. He ran outside and returned momentarily.

"Oh Kurt, how extravagant," I grinned, accepting the box with pink wrapping paper with red hearts on it. Everyone in the restaurant watched as I unwrapped the gift, opened the box, and found that plush heart and two stuffed puppies we'd seen a few days earlier at the Lima Bean. "Oh Kurt, how nice!" I took them out of the box.

"I still find them creepy," Kurt said as I pressed the button and heard the puppies talk again. "But I know you liked them, so I wanted to get them for you."

I extended my arms to give him a hug and said, "Happy Valentines Day, Mister Kurt Hummel."

He smiled. "Happy Valentines Day, Blaine."

**. . . . . . . . . . . **

** Author's Note: This chapter is obviously set during "The Sue Sylvester Bowl Shuffle" and "Silly Love Songs," and most of the dialogue is from the show's script. I promise that I will be more creative in the next chapter, like when I write the scene where Kurt takes a drunken Blaine home after Rachel's party… *creepy fan girl moment.* I hope you guys will be patient about updates. I'll try to update as much as possible, but I will be especially busy in the next few months. Bye, you guys! **


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